You Know Nothing
by GryffindorGoddess28
Summary: LJ. Lily never thought she had anything in common with James Potter. Now, in 7th year, when his world is ripped apart, why is she the one he turns to? Maybe they have more in common than she thought...
1. The Letters

**Disclaimer: i 0wn n0thing y0u rec0gnize. please, d0nt sue me!**  
  
Summary: L/J.James just got some disturbing news that makes Lily remember her painful past. what will happen when she spills a few secrets of her own? and what about when voldie comes around? [summary sucks but readreview!!!] set in 7th yr.  
  
:) I was bored and this idea just popped into my head. PLEASE REVIEW!!! i couldn't get this idea outta my head... and this is like my firstest "serious" story [if you could call it drama...i dunno]... i usually write fluff but...well...  
  
:) i know, i know, my others stories suck major butt, but this one is actually pretty good, so PLEASE review!  
  
this chapter is REALLY short but ... more is coming!!!!  
  
reviews are always welcome.... any criticisms or suggestions or praises or questions, feel free.  
  
This chappie is dedicated to Swishy Willow Wand [if she'll even read it, i dunno]  
for suggesting in a review to one of my other stories that i should write longer stories well. here you go Turkey-gurl!  
  
And now, the story.....p.s. the first part is from 5th year, its a flashback, but then we go into 7th yr.  
  
**YOU KNOW NOTHING  
  
**Chapter 1: The Letters  
  
**FlashBack-MeMory-ThiNg**  
  
_A fifteen-year-old redhead made her way down to breakfast. It was Saturday and the middle of Christmas break. Two days until Christmas! That break had been exceptionally brilliant due to the fact that James Potter [who hadn't stopped asking her out since the beginning of 4th year] was at home and she was at Hogwarts. She arrived merely minutes before the owl post did. Normally, she didn't recieve much. A letter or two maybe, but that morning she wasn't expecting anything.  
  
She was grabbing for a piece of toast as an owl she didn't recognize dropped a letter by her pumpkin juice. There wasn't anything special about it, plain white envelope, a blue seal she thought could have been from the Ministry, and her name and information on the front. She opened it and took a bite of her toast. As she read the letter, the toast fell out of her hands, she stood up and walked out of the Great Hall, her eyes glued to the parchment but their emerald green dull and glazed over, as if she wasn't really seeing it.  
  
Her feet took her to the Astronomy Tower, but when she arrived, she had no clue how she got there. In fact, if you were to ask her what had taken place since she picked up the letter to when she locked herself in the Tower, her mind would draw a complete blank to this day.  
  
In shock, Lily slid down the wall she was leaning upon. She was numb. She couldn't feel the floor beneath her any more than she could believe what had happened. She was confused and alone. There was no best friend to follow her up the stairs, to check on her, no one even noticed the quiet girl leave the Great Hall. And now, now she had no family to return home to. Only Petunia, who couldn't stand to look at Lily, let alone live with her.  
  
A distant part of her knew it was the shock that was dulling her pain. She couldn't cry or feel her heart break, she couldn't move. She barely felt her heartbeat, if it was indeed beating. She spent all of that Saturday in the Astronomy Tower, alone, staring at the piece of parchment she held in her hands, though she didn't feel its weight.  
  
**Ms. Lily Evans,  
We are sorry to inform you that 'Lord Voldermont' has struck again. Your parents were having a holiday party which all of your family attended, excluding your sister, Petunia Evans. He attacked at midnight on the 23rd of December. We send our deepest apologies. Your sister will be handling the funerals and muggles will believe everyone died in a fire. Please contact your headmaster for information about the services.  
  
Mackindric Mallona, Ministry of Magic  
**  
As it grew dark, a part of Lily- what felt like a very distant part- realized she needed to go to her dorm. Spending the night in the exposed Tower, while appealing, could be dangerous, especially in her current state. She made her way back to the Gryffindor Tower and mumbled the password to the Fat Lady [Ogsbonsons]. She was an empty shell, mechanically walking and making her way to her dorm. There was no one left. No friends who would worry, no family who would love, no one. It was the worst Christmas ever. By Sunday, some of her shock wore off and she cried nonstop, not leaving her dorm. By the end of break? Lily was cried out and she was once again a shell of her former self, hallow and alone....  
  
_**EnD FlashBack-MeMory-ThiNg  
**  
It had taken Lily around a year to fully recover...if you call it a recovery. She wasn't the same, never would be. But, she was no longer crying constantly, feeling sorry for herself. She lost the whole "woe-is-me" attitude as soon as her tears stopped. Now, instead of carefree and quiet, instead of weeping and alone, she was angry, angry at the world- no, not the world, just at HIM, at Voldermont. She was strong, in control... or at least she thought she was.  
  
She never cried, and she hardly ever cared about anything besides academics, she just worked and spent endless hours in the library, but no one wondered what she was doing. No one noticed the difference, or anything for that matter, and she was glad of it. Now, she was alone by choice and there was no one to worry about. No way to get hurt. Petunia was married and made it very clear to Lily that she wanted nothing to do with her, cutting her last remaining tie to humanity.  
  
It was Christmas time again, her last at Hogwarts. Lily had never been so happy for her private dorm as she was then. She wouldn't have to see the girls' pity as she woke to nothing at the foot of her bed. Christmas was like any other day to her, only the food was better than its usual magnifigance. The only downside was that James shared the Head common room with her and there was no escaping him. Lately, though, he had gotten less full of himself, had matured even. He even stopped asking her out daily. This year, he'd only tried to be friends with Lily. For some reason, she was actually almost happy that he was staying for break this year...  
  
It was Sunday and, with only one day until Christmas, Lily could feel the excitement in the air around her. She couldn't help but wish she was as happy as the rest of them, but she couldn't let herself be. It was just another day. Nothing special. An endless string of days would follow, all the same. What made this one any different? Sitting in the head common room, she was sitting on one of the couches, reading. She didn't even hear him behind her, just watching her. He stared for a few minutes longer before walking over and sitting on a couch opposite her. She looked up at him and smiled, a small smile but a smile nonetheless.  
  
"Hey James. Can I help you with anything?" she asked him politely, waking him up from his stupor.  
  
"Oh... yeah... I wanted to know if you had those lists for the different Hogsmeade weekends we set up. Just want to check something." He said to her quietly. She picked up her bag and began to dig through it, eventually pulling out a few sheets of parchment and handing them to him. " 'Ere you go. I'm going to go to dinner. Coming?" she asked. He shook his head, already reading the lists and waved for her to go on.  
  
He arrived about 10 minutes after Lily and sat with his friends. In the middle of the meal, a single brown owl came swooping into the Hall and dropped a letter in front of James. Lily gasped as she recognized it. Same plain envelope, same blue stamp, same round and loopy handwriting. Her eyes widened as James' eyes did and she knew what he must have been reading. She longed to rush up to him and comfort him in some way, but how could she?  
  
Her eyes followed him as he rushed out of the Great Hall, pale and followed by two very worried friends. The fourth of their group, the smaller, chubby one, was in the Hospital Wing or something. The rest of the meal passed in a blur for Lily. While the rest of the Hall buzzed with gossip, Lily sat, staring blankly at her plate, while a wave of feelings she had long since buried overcame her. She blinked back tears and left the Great Hall with everyone else.  
  
She went to the Head's common room and was surprised to see James sitting in front of the fire, staring at the flames, his eyes bleak and angry. Lily was afraid to disturb him. He practically shook with surpressed rage but at the same time, she knew he was feeling more pain than he ever had before. Lily had gotten off easy, she went straight into shock, she had felt nothing for the first 24 hours... and, after that first wave of emotion had hit, she didn't really feel much towards anything at all, aside from a burning hatred towards Voldermont. Her stubborness finally came in useful, she refused to feel anything else...  
  
Slowly, carefully, she made her way towards him and gently sat next to him on the other end of the couch. They sat in silence for a long while, him staring at the fire, her staring at him. Her heart broke as she saw the warmth had left his eyes and his face looked as if it would never smile again. She wished he would cry or something, not just sit there!  
  
"James?" she said quietly, timidly, "Are you... well.. okay?" He didn't answer at first, but at length, he managed to mumble to the fire "Just dandy."  
  
"That's not what I meant... I meant.." she sounded distressed. She refused to get angry at him, she had asked a stupid question, but she was hurt by his answer. " I guess I should have asked if you needed to talk..." she said to him, still quiet, but less timid.  
  
This seemed to anger him, a worse statement than before. "No. Okay, Evans? I don't need to talk. And certainly not with you." A wave of protests rose in her throat, but she swallowed them. He didn't know what she has or hasn't dealt with, but she still had to keep telling herself to calm down. He's hurting, he's just acting out. Don't get angry.  
  
"James, I know how you must be feeling but-" she was cut off by his gruff voice.  
  
"How, Lily? How the hell could you know how I am feeling? Not only do you not know what happened, but in your perfect little life, you have never had to deal with the pain I am feeling right now!" He was getting louder and angrier "You have no right to come in here and try to 'fix-it'! It can't be fixed! How dare you come in here and tell me you know what I'm feeling!" He had gotten up and had his back to the fire, towering over Lily.  
  
She felt her fury slowly rising and her outrage bubbled up her throat, but she refused to fight with him, to let him use her as a target for his anger. She stood up and looked him straight in the eye, her plans to stay out of a fight were diminished. He had gone too far. Somehow she had managed to control herself and the urge to yell her head off.  
  
"You are NOT the only victim of a Voldermont attack and don't you dare think that I have never felt pain. You have no right to assume ANYTHING about my life." she whispered venemously, but he saw the tears that began to form in her eyes. Lily spun on her heel and rushed to her dorm, where she spent the remainder of Christmas Eve staring at the ceiling, trying not to relive all of her memories about her family. She preferred it when she just kept it all buried. It was much less painful...  
  
**dun dun dun! not really a cliffie, but..yeah... anyone who reviews gets a giant internet cookie!!!! **


	2. Christmas Mourning

**DISCLAIMER:: ::looks around:: i dont see anyone around here who owns any thing of the HP universe, do you?**  
  
**AN:** okay, chapter 2. i know, they are REALLY short, but ::sigh:: its not my fault!!! well, it is but.. still.. i'm doing my best!!! anyways. yeah. review!!!!!

**AN:** I LOVE my reviewers, so i thanked you each personally down below... i hate when people dont address each reviewer...cuz i usually write super-long reviews and to simply get a "thanks everyone" drive me absolutely crazy. i dont review to people who do that, except under unusual circumstances as permitted  
  
**REVIEW RESPONES:**

**angelzsweet90:** here's the update. i know, its sad.. but... it brings them together!! ::gives a cookie:: thanks for reviewing!

**Kaelin Brooke Spar:** what's WFTNC? anyways, thanks for reviewing!! ::gives a cookie::

**mandabella: **thanks so much!! ::gives a cookie::

**James-RoxMySox: **i know cliffies suck butt, but that one wasn't that bad, was it? thanks for reviewing!! ::gives a cookie::

**Amanda Lily Potter: **I am REALLY bad at typing, so i'm sorry if i spelt it wrong [because not only does my typing suck, but so does my spelling... yeah...] anyways ::hands over ANOTHER cookie, very reluctantly:: im losing all my cookies!!!!

**shadowphoniexstar:** thanks so much!! I wrote and wrote, and here it is, chapter 2!! enjoy!! ::hands over cookie::

thanks s0o0o much everyone, i love you all!!!

::takes last cookie out of cookie-basket:: he he he.. made an extra for me :) as a reward for finishing this chappie

ALERT EVERYONE: PLEASE REVIEW!!!

**Chapter 2: Christmas Mourning**  
  
Lily woke up Christmas morning and saw no presents on her bed, as expected. She got ready and went down the stairs to the Common Room. She sighed when she saw James asleep in a chair facing the fire, but she saw he had been crying and decided not to wake him. Whether he would get presents or not she didn't know, but she did know that either way, today would be hell for him. It would probably just be better if she let him wake up on his own.  
  
Besides, she had let a pretty big secret slip the last time they spoke and she didn't want that to happen again. She knew when he woke up, he'd ask questions and she wasn't ready to let him in... to let anyone in. Hopefully, he'd be too engrossed in his own problems and just forget the whole outburst. As she walked into the Great Hall, her path was blocked by Remus and Sirius, both who looked like they hadn't slept at all.  
  
"Where's James?" Siruis asked, his voice quiet. Lily looked at the floor and mumbled that he was asleep in the Head Common Room. Remus looked at Lily, then exchanged a glance with Sirius, who shrugged.  
  
"Lily?" Remus asked tentatively, "Do you know what that letter said?" Lily looked up, confused. Hadn't those two gone running after James? Remus seemed to know what she was thinking. He just shrugged his shoulders and said "He kind of... locked us out of your dorms. We didn't have the password to get in..and..well... he kind of told us to bugger off... though his wording was a tad...cruder."  
  
"The password is 'Tinsel Lights'... he's asleep and... look, today is going to suck for him, so just be there for him, please... just be there". Pushing past them, Lily wondered what those first few days would have been like if she had had someone to comfort her... but nope, she had always been a loner. Not really a big deal, she preferred to be alone, quiet in the library... studying... it was just who she was.  
  
No real enemies (in school, anyways), especially since she and James had started this little truce-thing, but no real friends either. Just her... as she sat down, she turned to see Remus and Sirius walking out of the Hall, both confused at how Lily had become such an expert on what James was feeling. They were his best friends and had no clue what was going on.  
  
James was still sleeping when Sirius and Remus came in, whispering heatedly about how to confront James. He hadn't wanted to talk to them the night before, and now with Lily's words hanging over their heads, neither knew what to do. Sirius wanted to wake James up and confront him directly. Remus wanted to wait until James woke up, then try to help James deal with whatever was going on. Turns out, Remus won because James woke up before the pair could decide what to do.  
  
"Remus, Sirius? What are you doing here?" James asked groggily, wiping his face of the last remains of tears. Sirius was surprised James had been crying... the last time he had cried was when his grandmother had died. His eyes suddenly grew wide and he looked at Remus, who was studying their friend intently, wondering what could be wrong.  
  
"J-J-James..."Sirius began in a shakey voice. He cleared his throat, "That letter. Did it... did it say something about someone d-" James threw a crumpled piece of paper at Sirius, but it only flew about 2 feet with James' half-hearted effort. James was still in the chair he had fallen asleep in, and for a few glorious moments he had remembered nothing of the day before. Then reality had to come crashing down.  
  
"It was Voldermont. He.. he killed..." James stopped and rubbed his eyes, which began to water again. He took a deep breath and tried again. "He killed-"  
  
"Rosa." Sirius finished for him. Remus was now reading the letter Sirius had dropped after reading the first paragraph. The three boys all had bleak expressions and lifeless eyes. Remus sunk into the nearest chair, his head in his hands. Sirius' legs seemed to collapse from under him, because suddenly he was sitting on the floor, his face emotionless. James was just staring into the fire, trying not to think of anything at all... because he knew that the only thing he would think about was her. A silence came over the trio... all of them lost in thought... all of them thinking of one girl.  
  
Rosa is- was James' younger sister. Her birthday was in January...she was about to turn 7 years old. Even thought there was a 10 year difference between the two, James and his sister were extremely close. Meaning, of course, that Remus and Sirius had spent a lot of time around the little one as well, loving her like she was their younger sister as well. She was so young... so innocent... James could still see her, with her long, brown hair flying all over the place, her grey eyes sad as the train pulled away. And that was the last time he was ever going to see her. He would never see her smile or hear her laugh. His last memory of his beloved sister was of her crying because he had to leave her again... and this time, he wouldn't be coming home to her bear hugs or her warm welcomes.  
  
Why did he have to stay at Hogwarts this winter break? Because, a little voice in the back of his head said sadly, you never considered the fact that you would never see her again. You just took it for granted that she would always be there... James didn't like these feelings he was having... all this sadness and confusion... no, anger was much easier to deal with... and he had plenty of it.  
  
"Dammit!" he swore as he banged his fist on the table. On a normal day, Remus would have made some sarcastic comment like 'Did you think you were hitting a pillow or something [insert eye roll]. Of course it will hurt if you bang your fist on the table...no need to swear' while Sirius laughed about his mate hurting himself yet again... But this wasn't a normal day... nothing was normal. James felt his anger rise and he was glad... he felt empowered... in control... but, his power was fleeting... as soon as he thought of his sister again, all he felt was pain. He let his head rest in his hands.  
  
"She wasn't even 7 years old yet... how could he do that to her?" James asked to no one in particular. No one answered. Silence engulfed them once again. It was driving him crazy... there was no noise that went undetected... the creak of a floorboard as Sirius moved his foot.... Remus leaned back, making the chair squeak... the crackling of the dying fire... it was all too much...the little noises...they kept building in his head... over and over... James felt like he was going crazy. He stood up abruptly, knocking his chair down in the process.  
  
"Let's go prank Snape.. we haven't in a while, have we?" He asked, trying to sound as normal as possible. Maybe... maybe if he pretended it didn't happen, it'd go away. He couldn't take it... the pity... the grief... the pain. James had never felt anything so real before... so strong that it made him want to rip his own heart out, just to make it stop. But, it wouldn't. Nothing would ever be normal again. He realized it when Sirius didn't jump up at the chance to prank anyone, especially Snape. All both of them did was stare at James in disbelief... James couldn't stay there anymore...it couldn't be real... he refused to believe it... she was at home, playing with dolls or something... he had to conviced himself she was fine... but it didn't work...she wasn't fine and neither was he....  
  
Lily was torn. Spend the day hiding out in the library or try to get into her dorm to get her school things... she couldn't summon them without hurting some people [and paintings] in the process... dilemma, dilemma.... She didn't want to disturb James...whomever he had lost, they must have been someone special... someone he really loved. She didn't think she could handle seeing him like like... plus, he was bound to ask her questions...she just HAD to open her bloody mouth, didn't she? Suddenly she felt a complusive need to hit herself in the head... She should have just kept her mouth closed... no one would have to know anything... and she'd be safe...  
  
Sighing, she decided against going back to the dorm. Better to hide out in the library and go hex-hunting than attempt a rescue mission to her dorm for her assignments...besides, all she had left was an essay for Potions...due in three days... no problem... Her time would be much better spent preparing herself for her Auror training, which started (hopefully)after she graduated. Lily didn't want to wait, she was ready to start her training ASAP. She had already applied, but they wouldn't be answering her until after her NEWTS came...they needed those scores to accept her. But until then, Lily was concentrating more on learning as many spells, hexes, and curses she possibly could.  
  
The more she knew, the better her chances were at defeating Voldermont... She wanted- no, she needed- to be a part of his downfall...no matter how small the part ...that's why she was going to be an Auror...why she worked so hard...why she spent so much time in the library... she was going to be ready for him and his little minions... no matter what.  
  
No one knew of her ambitions, but even if they did, Lily didn't care how insane, how dark, how angry she sounded... it was the only thing that kept her from dying right then and there... her family had been everything to her, and he took them away... she wanted to hurt him as much as she possibly could... She was going to prove that just because he killed her MUGGLE family didn't mean she was broken... she used her anger as an escape from everything, her pain, her sadness, anything....And now, it felt like she had lost her family all over again... the pain she felt...the heart-wrenching feeling was clawing its way through her and it pissed her off... she felt her anger return, full force.  
  
She felt enpowered, strong, and ready to take on the world... The more she thought of everyone he had hurt, had killed, the angrier she got... but she knew she couldn't defeat him...not yet... she needed to know more, needed to be stronger...better... she headed to the library, straight to the defense sections and began pulling out the dusty volumes, preparing herself for a nice afternoon, studying in the quiet library, thoughts of vengence and sorrow running through her head.

**GUESS WHAT! if you review, i'll get the next chappie out REALLY REALLY fast... like... fast fast fast. anyways, i got homework to do...so...yeah... reviewers get lollipops!! [you just hafta tell me what flavor!]**


	3. A Little Comfort

**Disclaimer: guess what? i am NOT the genius creator of the HP universe. ::everyone gasps:: that's right. dont own nothing you recognize.**

**a/n: I ABSO-BLOODY-LUTELY LOVE MY REVIEWERS!!! You all rock!! anyways... there's nothing really for me to inform you of in this AN... cuz... yeah... i dont have anything else to say....**

**REVIEW RESPONSES:**

**:) James-RoxMySox: **i know the chappie was a little sad...but, it was necessary. i think you'll like this chapter. im glad you think the grief and stuff was realistic...i've never gone through anything like that before, so i was trying to make it as real as possible. you are an awesom reviewer, thanks so much! ::hands over a strawberry lollipop::

**:) Kaelin Brooke Spar: **I am glad you love the story. thanks for reviewing [and for telling me what WFTNC was] here's chappie #3. ::hands over a ... orange lollipop::

**shadowphoniexstar:** Im glad you love this story. ::hands over a... green apple lollipop::

**:) angelzsweet90: **wait no longer, here's the chappie. glad you like my story. ::hands over a... cherry lollipop:: :)

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**AN:** YOU ALL ROCK!!!! please, everyone, follow their example and review!! see? everyone who reviews gets a special treat!!! yay!! ::takes a lemon lollipop out of lollipop-bag:: aren't my sponsers nice?

**Chapter 3: A Little Comfort  
**  
Twenty minutes before curfew and Lily could still be found in the library, waiting until the last possible moment to return to her dorm... Sighing, she gathered all of her things and returned the books back to their shelves. As she trudged back to the Head Dorms, she couldn't help but wish that James was already in his own dorm, asleep. That way, she wouldn't be bothering him and whatever he was dealing with...okay, well, maybe it was also so he didn't ask her any questions, but so what? She hated seeing him like this... especially when there was nothing she could do to fix it...  
  
Slowly, she trudged through the corridors and stopped in front of a portrait of a rather large man in a deep green nightgown. "Password?" he asked sleepily. "Tinsel Lights" Lily shouted up at him. The potrait door swung open and Lily stepped inside, only to see James, Sirius, and Remus all sitting in various places in the Common Room, unmoving. Sirius sitting on the floor, his head on a couch cushion, staring blankly at the ceiling. Remus was slumped in a chair, a piece of parchment crumpled at his feet, his head in his hands. James...  
  
James was sitting in the chair Lily had seen him in that morning, his eyes empty and lifeless, staring dead into the fire. It seemed as if they hadn't moved in hours. None of them had seen her yet. She silently made her way to her dorm, pausing only for a glance back at the three boys...no, not boys... at the three bodies. There was no life left in them, and this scared Lily to the very bone... three boys who couldn't be more full of life, now empty...and why? Because Voldemont had decided to intervene.  
  
Lily couldn't sleep... all she could think about was Voldermont and the havoc he's reeked... He'd only come to power recently, started off small and people were only starting to see him as a real threat... But soon, Lily knew, he'd cause more pain than any wizard in history...and why? Who knows... but whatever it was, it turned him into some psycho-killer-maniac person with more power than he should have... Another Hitler, but this one has magic. Same mission, same plan: kill all the "impure" ones....all the people who weren't good enough to join their cult. Hilter persecuted the Jewish race (even though he was half Jewish himself) and Voldermont hates the muggleborn wizards and witches (even though he is half-muggleborn himself)...sick, sick men.....  
  
If you could even call them men. Her only hope was Voldermont did not die the same way Hitler did: suicide. She wanted to get her hands around his puny little neck before he had the chance to Avada Kedavra himself. She tossed and turned for another few hours and around one in the morning, she found herself walking out of her dorm with three blankets in hand.  
  
Just as she had thought, the boys had all fallen into a restless sleep... She draped a blanket over Sirius and another over James. Remus, who was hunched over and leaning against his hands, lifted his head sleepily and looked over to Lily, who was currently covering James lovingly with a blanket. Then, to his surprise, she leaned over and kissed James' forehead. She looked over at Remus, who was staring at her, and smiled a small, sad smile. Wordlessly, she handed a blanket to Remus and walked back into her dorm, where she too fell into a restless sleep.  
  
Lily slept late, which was unusual for her, and ended up waking up around 11 AM. Exhausted, she attempted to fall back asleep, but her efforts were pointless. Dragging herself out of bed, Lily looked over at her clock. 11:27 am. It felt earlier to Lily... more like 1:27 am. But how can you argue with a clock? She sleepily began to get ready for the day. By noon, the girl was finally awake enough to realize she was starving and rushed out of her dorm, fully intent on getting to lunch early...  
  
When she entered the Common Room, she noticed that only James was left, covered in the blanket and sleeping on the couch...if you could call it sleeping... he kept twitching and moaning in his sleep, almost crying outloud... Lily knew he must be having a nightmare and she couldn't just leave him when he looked so miserable. She walked over to him and shook him gently to wake him up... He stirred slightly but didn't wake up.  
  
She shook him a little less gently and it seemed to do the trick. He opened his blurry eyes to see Lily Evans watching him worriedly... Confused, he looked around, why wasn't he in his dorm? Stifling a sob, James put his head in his hands. Lily cautiously put her arm around him, trying to comfort him, but unsure how. He leaned into her hold and Lily pulled him into a protective hug. He sobbed into her shoulder, but she didn't mind. Since he had first gotten that letter, Lily felt a connection with him that she hadn't felt with anyone for a long time. It wasn't just pity, but compassion and understanding and... something else that she just couldn't identify. Lily held him through it all, crying a few tears of her own, while he relived the memories he had of his beloved sister...  
  
Sirius and Remus entered the Common Room quietly, each with food in a napkin. They stopped dead in their tracks at the scene in front of them. James, it seemed, was weeping into Lily's shoulder while she held him and did her best to soothe him, talking into his ear and wiping her own tears from the corners of her eyes. Remus walked over to a nearby table and put down the food he had brought in for James silently, motioning for Sirius to do the same.  
  
Then, the two of them quietly left the Head Common Room, sure that neither James nor Lily had seen them. James had never been one to let people know how he's feeling, preferring to hide it behind his "pretty face" and his arrogant attitude... Sirius could only remember two times he had seen James cry in the past seven years... when his grandmother had died and when, just the day before, he got the news about Rosa... But for him to cry in front of anyone else? James was always the strong one, the one who never showed his emotions...  
  
Remus couldn't help but wonder what Lily's part in all of this was... first, the "crypic" warning she had given them the morning before, she seemed to know what had happened and he was fairly sure that James hadn't told her. Then, there was the whole comfort-kiss-thing from the night before, when she had brought in the blankets for the three of them. Now, she was in there, comforting him and stuff while he was crying... Maybe it was easier for him to cry in front of her because she was a girl?  
  
Or maybe... maybe she has gone through the same thing... Who knew? Lily was a loner kind of person... he didn't know that much about her, except that she studied REALLY hard and ...well... that was about all she did... Her life seemed to kind of circle around her studies... Maybe... maybe there was a reason she worked so hard... Well, now that he's thought of all these questions, Remus (being the intellectual person that he is) needed the answers...  
  
The two of them went back to their own dorm and took their time preparing for what was left of the day, unsure on how to approach the whole James-grieving thing. Do they go back to the Head dorms and see whats going on? Or do they just wait it out until James comes to find them? The latter wasn't likely, but neither of the boys wanted to interfere with whatever healing was going on...obviously, Lily helped James deal with his grief better than they did.  
  
They had been there for a few hours at least and Lily didn't know what to do. She couldn't help but feel his pain. A few more tears than she'd care to admit escaped her and she furiously wiped them away before anyone could notice. Should she just sit here until he was done, or should she try to talk to him [aside from the occasional whisper to calm him], and try to help him?  
  
By now, he was no longer sobbing but crying silently... her heart went out to him...she remembered her first few days after she got that letter... how alone and vulenerable she felt, how empty... it was horrible... She didn't want James to have to go through that... to have to feel that pain. Since he had first gotten that letter, Lily felt a connection with him that she hadn't felt with anyone for a long time. It wasn't just pity, but compassion and understanding and... something else that she just couldn't identify.  
  
It isn't fair! she thought angrily, Why should anyone have to feel this much pain? ... There wasn't a reason... it was someone else's hatred that caused this pain... ooh... how she wished she could just face him once... even if she just got in one good hex before she died...at least she'd have gotten him once...proved that he isn't "all powerful"...  
  
James had stopped crying and he was just staring up at her... his hazel eyes sad and soulful. Lily was just thrilled to see life in them...she didn't know if she could stand to see those beautiful eyes of his dead any longer. She couldn't look away from his eyes... for those few moments, no one could ever understand her better than him...it was like he knew everything about her and she felt safer than ever... She leaned in as he did and closed the distance between them. For a few moments it was bliss... no thoughts, no worries, no fears. Just the feeling that THIS was what life should be about...not revenge... not hatred... not Voldermont... But it didn't last....  
  
As soon as she realized what she was doing, Lily pulled back, her eyes wide. She stood up quickly, knocking down a table near by, sending food flying... Her mind was in shock... her default setting: to run. And that's what she did. She rushed straight out the common room and just kept running until there were 4 floors and 12 flights of stairs between James and herself. She found herself near an empty classroom that looked as if it hadn't been touched in years and walked shakily inside.  
  
Leaning against a wall, Lily took a few deep breaths to calm herself... all she succeeded in doing was causing herself to hyperventailate. She slid to the floor and curled up, her arms wrapped around her knees and her head resting on top... Her "inner peace" was gone... whatever she felt during that kiss was pushed to the back of her mind... She felt alone and scared...unsure of what to do next... there were only one thing she knew she had to do: stay as far away as possible from James Potter.

**REVIEW!!!!! reviewers get giant [invisable] chocolate bars!!!!! :-D reviewers rock!!!**


	4. Small Talk

**DISCLAIMER**: i am not the author of the harry potter universe, as much as I'd like to be :( i dont own anything you recognize  
  
**AN:** Hello All! I am BACK! Sorry... It's been a while... but.. :sigh: school is challenging and has put me behind schedule... ::wince:: im sorry to all of my LOVELY reviewers for taking soooo long!! you have no idea how happy you've all made me!!!!!!! i love all of you!!!!  
  
**AN:** PLEASE review!!! I cannot believe how many reviews i got for last chappie- i got double what i got for chappie 2!!!!! i was soooo happy ::wipes tear:: pleasepleaseplease keep it up!! i love you all!!!  
  
**MY AWESOMELY SMASHING REVIEWERS:**  
  
**Zayne:** you've read a story where she was allergic to him? that seems kinda silly... anyways, thanks so much!!! ::gives annmarie a chocolate bar::  
  
**New-York-Angel14:** thanks so much!! [us new york gals gotta stick together! ...tho... technically... i dont live there anymore..but... still!!] thanks for reviewing!!! here's another chappie!!! ::hands NewYorkAngel14 a chocolate bar::  
  
**LisBleu**: THANKS SO MUCH! here's another chappie ::hands LisBleu a chocolate bar::  
  
**randomfrizzhead:** i know it was kinda sad ... thanks for reviewing! ::hands randomfrizzhead a chocolate bar::  
  
**James-RoxMySox:** they are all confused, arent they? ::sigh:: remmi has always been a smartie [truth be told, he's always been my favorite...] he does some "detective work" in this chappie- or at least tries to... you really think my writing is enthralling?::smiles and bursts with happiness:: that is one of the nicest compliment i've gotten! im glad you like it so much! here's the update and your chocolate ::hands James-RoxMySox a chocolate bar::  
  
**the-power-of-love:** thanks! here's the next chappie... ::hands the-power-of-love a chocolate bar::  
  
**Book Lover990:** i've updated as fast as i can!! [p.s. love your name-y thing. i, too, am i book-a-holic...] ::hands BookLover a chocolate bar::  
  
**Melissa Black13:** thanks soooo much! i kinda wanna hit lily too, but ::sigh:: you gotta remember what she's been thru... she doesnt exactly trust her feelings very easily and she's confused and scared! i hope you dont die from waiting so long, cuz then you wouldnt get to read this chappie :) ::hands MelissaBlack a chocolate bar::  
  
**angelzsweet90:** moony is the bestest, aint he? you are very welcome for the lollipop! ::hands AngelzSweet a chocolate bar::  
  
**shadowphoniexstar:** im glad you liked the lollipop!!!!!! here's the chappie!!!! ::hands shadowphoniexstar a chocolate bar:: [not that you need the sugar...but... hyperness makes good reviews... :) hinthint]  
  
**dreamy-crazygirl:** im always glad to have new reviewers [they just brighten up my day!!] im glad you liked the kiss [tho its not very well written... i did my best] and i know, any normal girl wouldnt have run, but lily spazzed out. she freaked.... what can i say? its all part of the story... and ::sigh:: it would have been over if she stayed, and i have something big planned [tho not for a few chappies] so keep reviewing, cuz im gunna keep writing!!!!!! oh, and no, lily doesnt really have friends...just... aquaintences, more like just people she knows and doesnt fight with. she's a loner, so she kinda distances herself from everyone... its just a part of her character, i guess, to close herself off.  
  
**KBS:** im glad you like your lollipop. i know... she is a bit clueless, aint she? confused... she got scared and spazzed- i mean, her whole life since her family was killed wasnt full of love and happiness... she was alone and pissed off... so, this new emotion [tho she doesnt know quite what it is] freaked her out... its just new and scary for her.... and now im rambling and might end up giving away something imprtanat so ::zippers lips closed:: i know i didnt post as quickly as usual, but blame my school!! tis eeeeevvvvvviiiiilllll!!! and ::sigh:: my spelling is really bad... and i always say "Vold-er-mont" so, thats how i spell it... im gunna try to change it, but sometimes its automatic, so please forgive me if I mess it up again. thanks for filling me in, tho, so that i can avoid it in the future.  
  
**THANKS TO ALL OF MY BEAUTIFUL REVIEWERS!!!!!!** ::takes out a chocolate bar for meeeeeee:: hehe. i dunno why i do that. bribery works wonders... :) plus, you all love me so much, you'll review...right?  
  
**Chapter 4: Small Talk  
**  
Lily wasn't sure how long she had been in that room, probably only an hour, but obviously it had been long enough for one of them to come looking for her... Look up, Lily saw Remus was standing above her, a curious look on his face.  
  
"Hello Lily." Remus said quietly, "Care for a walk?" He asked. Lily put her head back down on her knees and told him to just go away, but he didn't listen. Instead, Lily could feel him sit down next to her and lean his head against the wall. When she sneaked a glance at him, she saw he had his legs crossed in front of him and was staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. Her head returned to her knees and she closed her eyes again, waiting for him to get up and leave so that she could be alone and figure everything out.  
  
"So, finished that Charms essay yet?" he asked, trying to break the uneasy silence. Without looking up, Lily just told Remus to sod off and the two fell silent once again.  
  
"I have, but I still have to finish that Transfiguration essay she gave us yesterday." he commented nonchalantly after a considerable amount of minutes had passed silently.  
  
"Then go finish it" Lily said in a monotone, dead voice.  
  
"You know who's great at Transfiguration?" Remus asked, ignoring Lily's suggestion for him to leave. "James is great at Transfiguration..." Lily sighed, and realizing that he probably would never leave, she got up and began to walk out of the room.  
  
Right before she left, Remus finally gathered enough courage to ask "Lily, how did you know what the letter said?" She stopped right in front of the dorrway and truned around, suprised to see Remus standing a few feet away. She shrugged and said simply "I didn't." He was confused...  
  
"Well, then... how come you seemed to know what happened?" She sighed and said quietly, "Look, I really don't want to talk about it, ok? Can I please just leave? I'm tired."  
  
"No." He said abruptly, stopping in his tracks, "Lily, I think I have a right to know: how did you know what happened?" She stopped and looked as if she was trying to keep her anger under control.  
  
"Why? Why do you have a right to know?" She asked indignantly. For a few moments he was quiet, trying to gather his reasoning... "Well.. because James is my friend! If you know something that can help, than I should know!"  
  
"Well, how would you pestering me about my past help James in any way?" She asked, her voice breaking... Remus seemed to have no answer to that. She sighed. "Look... I don't know what that letter said, ok? [shrug] I guess I can just deal with grief pretty well, is all." Remus looked up at her.  
  
"Well, as far as I know, you've never had to deal with any grief..." Remus said, his brow furrowed in confusion... She laughed, but it was a cold, bitter laugh... "Shows how little you know, doesn't it?"  
  
And with that, she walked off towards her dorm, hoping James would be asleep by the time she got there. Where else was there to go? Besides, she didn't want to talk anymore...everytime she talked to anyone recently, she'd let something slip that she wanted to keep to herself...someone would figure it out, she knew it would happen eventually... it was only a matter of time.  
  
She metally kicked herself. Why did she always have to say something? She went a good two years without mentioning anything to anyone..and now? In the past 72 hours, she's almost blurted everything out to at least TWO people.... what would she do if either of them figured it out?  
  
When she reached the portrait that led to their Common Room, she yelled up the password [which had been recently changed to "Linsel Tights"] and the man in the portrait sleepily opened, grumbling about getting his beauty sleep. Silently, she stepped inside and rushed quickly to her dorm. When she reached the door, she took a quick look around and was relieved to see James was no longer occupying the Common Room. Briefly she wondered where he was, but she just assumed that he was in his room, sleeping. Exhausted, Lily stumbled into her room and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.  
  
**[what happened to James after she left]  
**  
James just sat there, stunned. Lily had kissed him. Lily Evans. Lily Evans had kissed him. Had kissed him. Kissed James. James Potter. No doubt about it. She had kissed him. Than, she ran off. He hit his head with his fist repetitively. Why didn't he say anything? Why, why, WHY did he just sit there? WHY did she run off? After about an hour of beating himself up, he heard someone come in.  
  
"Ya'know, mate, I don't think you can afford to lose that many brain cells..." James looked up to see Sirius come through the potrait hole. James just smiled feebly and put his head in his hands.  
  
"She kissed me" he said groaned quitely, clearly distressed. Sirius looked at his best mate with confusion.  
  
"Who?" Sirius was in the dark. Who could have kissed James? He was practically dying right in front of him, and he hadn't left the room all day. The only person who had been in there beside Remus and himself had been-  
  
"Evans?" he asked, eyes wide. James just nodded miserably. Sirius leaned back in his chair, amazed.  
  
"Mate. SHE kissed you, and you're miserable? What the bloody hell is wrong with you?" James looked up at Sirius like he was insane.  
  
"Well. First off, she ran away. Do you see her here? She spazzed out. Plus, I'm not exactly in the best shape to start a relationship... I don't think it'd be the greatest if I suddenly started crying on a date because I saw some little girl pass, ya'know?" With a deep sigh, James leaned back on the couch and looked at his mate, who's face seemed to be frozen in confusion.  
  
"Yes, but, if she ran off, you don't have to worry about a relationship you don't want. And, James, I saw her in here before, she didn't seem to mind that you opened up. I think she'd only want to help." His voice was soft and understanding, he didn't want to upset his mate for no reason.  
  
"But I DO want the relationship, it's just we have such bloody awful timing!" He was getting frustrated. He took a deep breath and let out a deep sigh. "I shouldn't even bother worrrying, not like she'll ever talk to me again. I can't believe I messed this up! We haven't fought in ages!" Sirius shook his head.  
  
"Actually, you fought last week, but it was more like a lover's spat anyway. She likes you, mate, she's just scared. Do you know where she went?" James rolled his eyes.  
  
"If I knew where she was, do you think I'd be here?" he asked  
  
"Yes." Sirius replied, almost cheerful. James grabbed a pillow and threw it at Sirius, who ducked and threw another back at him. Soon, there was an all-out pillow-throwing war. When the two were finally tired out, Remus entered the Head's Common Room to see Sirius and James sitting on seperate couches, laughing their heads off, covered in feathers.  
  
"So, how many pillows did you kill this time, you two?" Remus asked, his voice light. The two other boys just laughed a bit more and chucked another pillow each at Remus feebly, neither making it even halfway towards where Remus was leaning against the wall.  
  
"Good to see you smiling, James." Remus said as he sat down in a chair nearby. The smile immediately dropped from his face and was replaced by a look of guilt. After shooting a dirty look at Remus, Sirius tried his best to cheer his mate up again.  
  
"Prongs- Prongs, you know she would have wanted you to live your life. She wouldn't have wanted you to suffer..." James just closed his eyes and leaned back onto the couch. They were silent for a few moments until Sirius asked James, yet again,  
  
"Prongsie, do you know where Evans is? I'd like to have a chat with her about... our Charms assignment.." Sirius said, smiling slyly. James just threw another pillow at him and turned to Remus.  
  
"Moony, you got the map?" James asked and Remus nodded, pulling it out of his cloak pocket. "Good. Make sure Padfoot over there doesn't get it." Sirius just made a disgruntled-whine kind of sound and tried to work his puppy-dog-eyes magic on Remus, who wasn't buying it.  
  
"What do you wanna see Evans for?" Remus asked curiously. Sirius shrugged and glanced at James. Remus' eyebrows raised a question and Sirius just shrugged again as a response. Remus nodded slowly with understanding and stood up, taking the map with him, of course.  
  
"Well, Prongs, I think I'm going to go visit the library right quick. You two might want to consider cleaning all this up before Lily gets back, because I don't think she'll appreciate having all these feathers everywhere..." And with that, he left to go find Lily, who he saw was on the other side of the castle, a good twenty minute walk.  
  
"Padfoot, did you mean what you said before? About how it's okay for me to be happy, 'cause she'd have wanted me to be?" James asked his friend after a few minutes of brooding over the possible answers.  
  
"Yup. I always mean what I say, Prongs. You need to live your life." Sirius answered calmly.  
  
"Do you realize what a load of bull that is? How can I feel okay living my life and having fun, when she isn't?" He asked quietly, a tear running down his cheek. Sirius sighed  
  
"How do you know she isn't?" he asked just as quietly. James just stayed silent. The two of them stayed like that for a while, unsure of what to say. Neither had ever dealt like grief before and both of their natural reactions in the face of a serious thing was to laugh it off and joke and tease. But...this was different. There was no joke to make from this, no way to be the comic relief in this, no way to make it less serious, less painful. It was just there, and they could ignore it or drown in it, but James had a feeling it'd be a while before he accepted it...  
  
James couldn't stand to be in that room any longer...he hadn't left the Common Room in a little over 2 days... He hadn't eaten since Christmas Eve dinner... damn, he was hungry.  
  
"Paddy? I'm hungry. Lets go eat." James said simply before getting up and walking out of the Common Room. Waving his wand and muttering a spell, Sirius cleaned up the mess they made and the food that had been knocked down before he arrived. Then, they walked to the kitchen, where they found Remus waiting for them with the expression he always got right before he figured out a really hard ancient rune or arthimacy problem.  
  
"Talked to Evans..." He said as the house-elves hurried about getting food. James looked up, worry and surprise in his eyes. "She didn't say much, told me to go away a lot and such. But, I think I figured out why she's acting the way she is. It's because-" James cut him off.  
  
"She's dealt with death before. Probably a lot of it."  
  
**AN: PLEASE REVIEW. IT WILL MAKE ME VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY HAPPY!!!!!! PLEASE!! REVIEWERS GET... hmm... umm.. GIANT INTERNET GUMMIBEARS!!!!! [im running outta bribes people. help me out!]**


	5. A New Day

**DISCLAIMER:** HAHA! I OWN NOTHING! ANYONE WHO THOUGHT SO, :-P ISN'T VERY SMART.  
  
**AN:** Okay, people, please forgive me for this not-very-good chappie. its kinda a filler chappie, and its really short , but the next one is like super long and s0o0o much better and if you review really fast, then i promise to update!!!! please!!!!  
  
**AN:** Now that i'm done pleading, i do have another announcement: ::hides face in shame:: i cant believe it!!! in my excitement of getting so many reviewers, i forgot to give dreamy-crazy girl and KBS [VERY faithful reviewers!!!! im soo sorry!] chocolate!!! so ::hands over two chocolate bars:: :) forgive me?  
  
**AN:** ::sigh:: please review!!!!!!!!! all of you who reviewed, im eternally grateful!!! you all rock!!!!! and i love you all!!! [even that crazy person who reviewed but said nothing about my story becuz you have issues!]  
  
**REVIEW RESPONSES:**  
  
**Zayne:** okay, well. that makes more sense, it wasnt her being alergic, just him being stupid. :) im sorry you dont like chocolate but, do you like gummie bears? ::gives zaybe a giant gummie bear::  
  
**reviewer:** here's my update. im so glad you like the story [an author can never get too many compliments] ::gives reviewer a giant gummibear::  
  
**CrystalizedLily:** Sugar rushes rule! you are sooooooo nice!!!!!! im trying to keep it original, and im so0o glad you think so :) you made me so happy :) here is the new chappie and ::gives CL a giant gummi bear:: enjoy!!!  
  
**James-RoxMySox**: Gummi bears=good bribe. got it. im glad you would have reviewed even without a bribe:) you are an awesome reviewer btw. remmi rocks! hmm... an out-of-HP james... who might he be? [no need to tell me if you dont wanna.... but, remmi is the best... so glad you agree :)] ::gives Jen a giant gummibear::  
  
**Shuichi66:** i know its kinda sad... but, harry doesnt have like anyone aside from EPtunia as a blood relative, so :( here's the update!!!! ::gives Shuichi a giant RED gumi bear::  
  
**KBS:** heres the update and ::wince:: im sorry but if you look up there somewhere, you'll see i gave you the chocolate bar i forgotted. i hate braces [i just got mines off!!!!!] ad since you dont want a gummie bear, i had my sponser get you this ::gives KBS a TWIX bar:: but, that will stick to your braces too [just dont tell your orthodontist] lolz.  
  
**the** **power of love:** here's the next chappie ::gives thepoweroflove a giant gummibear::  
  
**shawdowphoniexstar:** here's the next chappie, hope you like it!!!!! ::gives shawdowphoniexstar a giant gummibear::  
  
**dreamy-crazygirl:** i loved all of your suggestions for bribes!!!! thanks!!!!! your reviews are always so much fun to read! [ps. i doubt you have to worry about my bribes ever being vry healthy...] lily gets pissed majorly in the next chappies, in ch. 6 and 7 [oops... i talk too much... but i wont erase it... its not too big of a spoiler] lolz cliches is fun. and, yea, it was funny [kinda made you wanna giggle] RAMBLE ON! i love people who ramble in reviews [i am one of them!!!!!!] anyways, ::gives dreamy-crazygirl a giant gummibear: enjoy!!!  
  
**angelzsweet90:** here's the update, enjoy!! ::gives angel a giant gummi bear::  
  
**Baconstrips:** ok, i've saved you people for last because i dunno if you actually read my story or if you just sent that to every story you felt like, because it had nothing to do with my story... ok, i agree with all of your freedom of speech stuff, but your issues are your issues, and i gotta tell you, i laughed out loud when i read your review or protest or whatever. thanks, cuz it was funny, and you seem to be very angry, so i suggest you complain to the establishment or GET A LIFE because it is JUST FANFICTION. chill out and keep your issues to yourself cuz no one cares. ::gives Baconstrips a giant gummibear:: just for being so nice.

**::enjoys a giant gummibear:: review!!!!!!!!**  
  
**Chapter 5: A New Day**  
  
Lily woke up the next morning pounding with newfound energy. Looking outside, she saw what a lovely day it was and decided to do some reading by her favorite tree. Her spirits were lifted when she found the Heads Common Room empty. That meant James is either getting a full night's rest or he had finally been ready to leave the dormitories. Either way, it meant that she wouldn't have to face him at that particular moment.  
  
As quietly as she could, in case he was asleep in his room, Lily snuck out of the Common Room and made her way down to breakfast. It wasn't very early (around 9) but, thankfully, the Hall was empty save for a few students. After a quick breakfast, Lily visited the library and checked out a few books dealing with defensive manuevers aganist multiple opponents (for some light reading, of course). She strolled down towards the lake until she came upon a small grove of old trees, even the smallest too large for Lily to wrap her arms around. Settling down, she began to read.  
  
James woke up slowly and looked around him. He was in his room, with no memory of how he got there. Glancing over at a clock, James saw it was already 11:00 am. He could hear Sirius snoring and saw that both Sirius and Remus were still asleep, both draped over armchairs near a table on the other side of his room. He sleepily searched his mind for the night's events. He remembered going to the kitchens and the three of them eating themselves sick... Then... then... nothing.  
  
He threw his head back and hit his headboard, making a loud THUMP noise and adding to his already painful headache. Rubbing the sore spot on the back of his head, James saw his friends begin to awaken, just as groggy as he was. Brows furrowed, Remus looked at his surroundings until the lightbulb went off. It seemed to James that at least ONE of them remembered what had happened that night before.  
  
Sirius was currently doing his best to rub the sleep from his eyes and walk to the bathroom at the same time, causing him to continuously bump into things, until he walked striaght into the bathroom door. Now fully awake, Sirius walked into the bathroom, ignoring the stifled giggles of Remus and James. Remus yawned loudly and stood up out of his chair, streching. James turned to him with a confused expression.  
  
"Moony, do you ... well... remember what happened last night by any chance?" James asked, running his fingers through his hair nervously. You would almost think he was afraid to find out! Remus smiled and sat back down.  
  
"Well, mate.... we went to the kitchens for a bite-" He began, but James inturrupted him impaciently.  
  
"Yes, yes. I remember eating- A LOT, mind you, of food at the kitchens. But after that, it's kinda blank, mate."  
  
"Oh, well. We ate for over an hour and a half, to a point where even Sirius felt sick. By then, it was passed curfew, so we snuck back to the Common Room as best we could. I'm surprised Filch didn't catch us- too much food can make us quite sleepy, you know, and quite stupid. You especially seemed out of it, knocking into everything, acting a bit drunk if you ask me. Sirius seemed to be enjoying himself nearly as much as you, though he was slightly more in control of himself. Anyway, we managed to stumble into your dormitory and then we all basically collasped and fell asleep. No big deal. I do wonder why you don't remember, though." Sirius walked back into the room, smiling smugly.  
  
"He doesn't remember because I spiked his drink! Well, actually, all of our drinks were a bit irish, 'cept it's James who can't hold his liquor. Sorry, mate, but I did it for your own good! You were just far too mopey, talking all the psycological mumbo-jumbo with dear, Professor Moony over there. Besides, I don't think Evans would have been all too thrilled if the three of us continued to discuss her as if she were some kind of new exhibit in a zoo, for us to figure out and study and stuff. You wanna know whats wrong with her? Ask her!" Done with his speech Sirius looked around and found the map on the floor near James' bed.  
  
James and Remus sat still for a moment, absorbing all that Sirius had said. He was right, of course. Lily would be furious if she had found out that the three [well, two] of them had been discussing her as if she were some kind of problem that could be solved or something. After a few moments of silence, Remus asked if anyone else was interested in a late breakfast. Sirius automatically agreed and James followed the pair out of his dormitory.  
  
James immediately searched the Great Hall for any sign of Lily, to no avail. James and Remus ate only a little, not very hungry just yet. Sirius, on the otherhand, devoured his meal as if he hadn't eaten in ages. As Sirius ate his weight in breakfast, Remus was shocked to hear about "the big kiss". Finally, Sirius announced he was full just as lunch began in the Great Hall and the trio left the Great Hall, walking towards the Quidditch Pitch with Sirius in the lead. A bit of flying would do James good and get some freash air into him, after being cooped up in his dormitory for so long, Sirius thought to himself.  
  
They flew for around hours, until around 4 in the afternoon. James was exhilerated while his mates were exhausted after flying for so long. Full of energy, James bounded his way back into his dormitory, with Sirius and Remus trailing behind him. They all cleaned up and met back in the Common Room. James and Sirius began a game of chess while Remus read a book he had got from the library.  
  
Soon enough, Remus had fallen asleep and Sirius seemed ready to take a nap right then and there. After James won the third game in a row, Sirius had finally nodded off with his head on the board. Deciding it was best not to wake them, James picked up a book of his own and read until dinner.  
  
Around 6, James was starting to get hungry and his friends were still asleep. He knew it was virtually impossible to wake either of them up, so he went off to dinner alone, enjoying the momentary peace and quiet. Of course, as soon as he entered the Great Hall, his peace and quiet was a thing of the past. He had forgotten how LOUD the Hall could get during mealtimes, all that chatter.  
  
A quick sweep of the Gryffindor Table told him Lily wasn't there. He hadn't seen her all day, which was a bit of a relief, mostly because he had no iea what he would say to her if he did see her. But still, it wasn't good for her to go missing meals just to avoid him. With an inward sigh, James knew it was pointless to worry, he'd find her after dinner. Hopefully, she'd stick around long enough for them to talk about what had happened, because thinking about it was driving James crazy! He wanted to know what it meant, and the only person who might be able to tell him was Lily.

**::sigh:: not my best, i know. but, pweaz people, REVIEW!!!!!! the next chappie is practically finished!!! if you review, it'll be done s0o0o0o much faster!!!!!!! REVIEWS GET.... um.... A PAIR OF SOCKS MADE BY DOBBY!!!!![in the two colors of your choice, of course] [credit goes to crazy-dreamygirl, who came up with the whole socks-as-bribes thing] **


	6. Explanations

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING YOU RECOGNIZE**  
  
**AN:** Hey everyone! guess what! this chappie is actually pretty long, so it makes up for the last one, which was kind of just a filler kind of thing. everyone, review and i'll have the next chappie out asap.  
  
**AN:** umm.. i had something to tell you all, but i dont really remember what it was...so... yeah... um... I LOVE MY REVIEWERS!!!! YOU ALL ROCK!!!!!!  
  
**REVIEW RESPONSES:**  
  
**dreamy-crazygirl:** sorry about getting your name wrong- sometimes my brain thinks one thing and my hands type it all backwards. i just wasnt paying very close attention :-/ sorry. anyways, thanks SOOOOO much for your review :) made me so happy. it was a filler chappie, but this one is kinda the feed in to the big event [which i wont tell you what it is, cuz thats be ruining the effect] so now, its more plot [ot at least soon it will be]. hehe. you know, that quote seems like hinting at the marauders: peter would feel sorry for james, remus would bail james out, and sirius would be in the cell next to him, celebrating. lolz. i like laughable reviews :) whats livejournal? i'll try to get on the sites, but my computer is being screwy and it is evvvvviiiilll, but i promise to try as soon as i can. :) your ideas were fantabulous. oh, and there is no such thing as too much rambling!!!! ::dobby gives you a pair of socks, one purple and one green:: [btw: the reviewer "James-RoxMySox" thanks you for your sock idea :)]  
  
**randomfrizzhead:** i like the idea that james cant hold his liqour better than him being able to drink loads- its funnier and stops him from doing it a lot [plus, if you remember, sirius cant hold his own either- he was just as banged up as james. it was remmi who held his cool. see? both of them are incapable... hehe..] ::dobby gives you a pair of socks, one yellow and one red:: [i chose the colors for you, since you didnt tell me which ones you wanted. WHOO! GO GRYFFINDOR!]  
  
**Marshmallow:** i know, spiking the drinks was such a sirius-thing i had to throw it in there. what else could he do but add some comic relief? hehe. [you know, you're the second person who asked for those colors? hm... interesting ::dobby gives you a pair of socks, one purple and one green::  
  
**Marauderbab289:** thanks :) here's the update! enjoy! ::dobby gives you a pair of socks, one yellow and one red:: [you didnt tell me which colors, so i picked them for you!!!! gooooo gryffindors!!!]  
  
**Anochera:** im glad you like it. i hate the lily-clones!!! i like when she has unique friends who dont fall for james' best friends [tho i like osme stories that have that, but still]. here's the next chappie. ::dobby gives you a pair of socks, one yellow and one red:: [hardly anyone is telling me which colors, so anyone who didnt gets gryffindor socks!!! goooo lions!!!!!]  
  
**Flame of Desire:** DUDE! hehe, i love calling ppl that. anyways, im glad you like my fic so much :) ::dobby gives you a pair of socks, one yellow and one red:: enjoy your gryffindor socks!!!!  
  
**luvr of fanfiction:** no problem. i'll email you when i post this chappie. :) ::dobby gives you a pair of socks, one yellow and one red:: [gooo lions!!!!!]  
  
**shadowphoenixstar:** i know it was short, but this one is loooong so enjoy!!!!! ::dobby gives you a pair of socks, one yellow and one red:: [im all about house spirit, so everyone gets gryffindor socks if they didnt specify a color. gooooo lions!!!!]  
  
**KBS:** im glad you liked it!! [all socks are hand knit and delivered by dobby :)] ::dobby gives you a pair of socks, one purple and one blue::  
  
**James-RoxMySox:** here's the update. im glad you love my stories [and i love your reviews, they are always so nice to read!!! hehe. now you wont be able to fit thru a doorway. -- not that your compliments arent feeding my ego ;) hehe. if you dont liek cliffies, you may not like the way this chappie ends :-D but dont worry, i'll update soon. ::dobby gives you a pair of socks, one lilac- with polka dots- and one light blue- with stars:: hope you liek your socks [tho dobby was confused on which patterns to put on each sock, he pulled thru :) enjoy!!]  
  
**AN:** THANKS EVERYONE SOOOO MUCH!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!! please review and i'll update really fast, i promise!!!!!!  
  
::dobby hands author a pair of socks, one yellow with books all over it, and one red with lions:: what can i say? i am a gryffindor [wannabe, at least], so of course my socks must be yellow and red. gooooo lions!!!!! whooo!!!!  
  
**Chapter 6: Explanations**  
  
By 7, James was getting a bit agitated. Dinner had been over for a bit, but he was still sitting in his seat- waiting for Lily to enter the Great Hall. She hadn't eaten, James was sure of it. She hadn't come to dinner, and James was positive she didn't know where the kitchens were. He sighed- he'd have to go find her now...  
  
He was secretly hoping he wouldn't have to walk around the whole castle to find her, that she'd find him. No such luck. And he didn't even have the map! Thinking back, he couldn't remember when he'd seen it last... But, he wasn't too worried- Padfoot was probably drooling on it in his sleep. Pushing off the table, James stood up and walked to the kitchens. If Lily was going to avoid meals, then he'd have to bring her something to eat... a peace offering of sorts, he supposed.  
  
With some food in a napkin, James left the kitchens, escaping the hundred of elves who were trying to stuff food down his shirt just to get him to take it.  
  
"Crazy buggers." James muttered to himself as he walked away, going towards the library. If Lily was going to be anywhere, she'd be there. A quick sweep of the scene told James he was wrong- Lily wasn't buried under a mound of books like he'd expected. She wasn't even in the library.... Damn James thought. Where could she be?  
  
Leaving the library, James was at a loss. Where would Lily go? His eyes flitted to a window nearby, the evening sky was lovely, but it wasn't quite dark yet- there were still some students outdoors. Taking a guess, James left the castle and walked near the lake, looking for a flash of red. Spirit's dampened, he was ready to give up until he saw a glimpse of auburn in the corner of his eye. Walking towards her, he saw Lily was standing and collecting the many books she had brought outside.  
  
"Lily?" James called out to her once he was within a few yards. She lifted her head quickly, startled. Warily, she searched the trees until she saw James standing there uncomfortably with his hands in his pockets. She smiled uncertainly and shuffled over to him under the weight of the books.  
  
"Lily, do you need any help with that?" James asked as politely as he could. He knew the answer, of course, because Lily wasn't exactly the damsel-in-distress type, but still, it couldn't hurt to ask. Lily shook her head and repositioned the books so that she could walk alongside James.  
  
"No, I'm fine. There aren't really that many. Did you need to see me for something?" Lily asked as she began to walk towards the castle. James ran his hand through his hair nervously, unsure on how to phrase his question. Instead, he chose another one.  
  
"Um, well. What have you been up to? Haven't seen you all day. Oh, that reminds me, I brought you some food from the kitchens." James sad offering Lily the napkin,  
  
"Oh, thats sweet of you. Actually, I was about to stop by the kitchens for a bite, but now I don't have to. Oh, wait. Why don't we sit down? It'd be a bit easier to talk and all." Lily suggested, sitting down under a nearby tree. James joined her, handing her the food after she put down her books.  
  
"Thanks. Anyway, I guess I hadn't realized how long I'd been out here. I ate a bit of lunch, but I forgot about dinner. I'm trying to figure out how to do this spell, and I haven't quite gotten it yet." Lily explained as she began to eat a dinner roll. James looked over at her, a bit confused.  
  
"You spent the day trying to figure out a spell? Must be hard, if you are spending so much time on it." Leaning back on his elbows, James looked up at Lily, who chuckled.  
  
"Well, it is. But I was reading a bit before that. I started working on this spell about... whoa. Two hours ago. I'm beginning to feel a bit bitter towards it, actually." Lily joked, resting her back on the tree behind her. She offered some of the food he had brought her, but James declined.  
  
"Well, why don't you just chuck it? Why bother, is it for class or something?" James asked.  
  
"No... but, still. I couldn't just give up. It could save my life someday or something if I learned to do it properly!" Lily defended her actions. Of course she couldn't just give up! (Though, it was a bit silly to try to learn a high-level spell they taught in your second year of Auror traning, but still! The principle of it!)  
  
"Oh, I suppose you're right. Anyways, what's the spell? Maybe I could help." James offered as the pair stood up, Lily done with her meal.  
  
"Well, it's kind of a combination of spells. Its almost like a Stunning spell, but more powerful- like stun-a-giant powerful- and it also has a truth-telling side effect, so after you wake them up, they act as if under a truth potion, plus it like zaps their powers for a bit. It sounds pretty simple, but the pronunciation is a pain, and the countercurse is simple, but I've been reading up on it and it takes some serious willpower to get either spell quite right." Lily sighed- she'd never get this spell right!  
  
"Wait- that spell, isn't that taught in the Auror classes? I've heard it could have disastrous consequences if it's said wrong, it's supposed to be really dangerous!" James said, his nerves on end- that spell had a serious backfire when you didn't know what you were doing! Lily shrugged, turning a bit red.  
  
"I know, that's why I stayed out here, so I couldn't hurt anyone. And it's not like I've blown anything up, nothing happens when I say the words, it's a right pain in the arse!" James just shook his head in amazment.  
  
"Lily, you could have really hurt yourself! And blowing something up is like the lesat dangerous thing that could happen! Why are you trying to do this spell anyways? Its not like you are in Auror classes yet, if that's where you are going." James felt a surge of fear run through him at the idea of Lily getting hurt- it almost completely washed out his nervousness about bringing up what had happened the day before. Lily, on the other hand, was doing her best to steer the conversation away from that particular topic... The conversation was going smoothly, no need to make it all awkward by bringing those feelings into the mix.  
  
"I'm preparing for Auror training. If I know this stuff ahead of time, the chances of me passing and becoming an Auror are that much better. I mean, I start training in like June, so it might be smart if I at least know something." Lily explained rationally as she stepped inside the Library.  
  
"You're starting that early? Wow. I mean, I was planning on a career in either Quidditch or an Auror, but I thought I still had plenty of time to decide- it's not even November yet!" Lily looked at him sadly, shaking her head in a "oh, poor uninformed you" kind of way.  
  
"You haven't decided yet? What have you been doing these past two years. After OWLS, you're supposed to take the classes best fit for your field. Plus, applications for the Auror program are due in Decemeber, at latest. Mine have been in since the end of last year, but they need my NEWTS scores before I can start training." Lily pulled her hair back in a ponytail and began to sort through the books she had brought into the library so that she didn't return any of her own books.  
  
"I guess I'm a bit behind, but you're too way ahead of the game! You won't even be enjoying your last summer, you'll be spending it training and working! Besides, if you are preparing for training, why not start out with the more basic stuff, the stuff you'll be learning first?" James asked as he sat down in a chair across from Lily, who shrugged.  
  
"I've done most of the basic stuff already. I've even been doing some extra work with a few of the Professors, because it's not like I can teach myself all of this. And I'm prepared for the future is all. Ever since 5th year, I've wanted to become an Auror." Lily explained, then got up to return the books to Madame Pomfrey. She came back to an astonished James.  
  
"Lily, do you mean to tell me you've covered a large portion of the curriculum of training already? That's bloody insane! No wonder you hardly ever leave the library." James muttered, but not quietly enough. She felt a pang in her heart, as if someone had flung a rubber band at it. Blinking a few times, Lily turned from James and began to search the selves, putting various books away and taking others out. James quickly followed her.  
  
"Wait, Lily. I didn't mean that, I'm sorry. Sometimes my mouth talks without my brains permission and..." Lily just looked at him, her eyes a bit sad.  
  
"So, you did mean it. It's okay James, sometimes we say the most truthful things when we don't think about what we're saying." Turning back around, she continued to browse the many shelves. James sighed and ran his fingers through his hair yet again, trying to calm it absently.  
  
"I just meant... I'm sorry. I guess I feel a little inferior. I mean, look, you've got your whole life planned out and you are like three seconds from graduating Auror training without ever attending a course. It's not a very pretty comparison when held up to myself." Lily just rolled her eyes and dumped the books she picked out on a nearby table.  
  
"James, don't worry about it, I wasn't really very offended. And you shouldn't evny this workaholic. At least you have a life." Lily said as she situated herself in a chair and opened one of the books she picked out.  
  
"Yeah, now. But what happens once I graduate? I don't have a plan or anything. I'll probably end up living with my parents and my sis- well, with my parents until I figure out what I want." James corrected himself with a note of sadness. Lily put her hand over his comfortingly. He looked up and she smiled sadly at him. Their eyes met and she just stared at him for a few minutes until she had enough sense to pull her hand away.  
  
"I doubt it. Everything you do, you do well. You shouldn't be worried." Lily said soothingly, her voice quiet and her hand still holding his. He sighed, then decided to change the subject.  
  
"What about you? Where do you go after graduation?" James asked, suddenly very aware that she was still holding his hand.  
  
"Well, an apartment if I can manage it. Anything to get away from my sister and her new husband. Neither are very fod of me, nor I them. Drive me up the wall." James suddenly pulled his hand back, his face showing a mix of sadness and anger.  
  
"You know, you shouldn't take advantage of her. You never know when someone you care about won't be there." He said, his voice breaking. Lily looked at him, her face emotionless, but her eyes screaming sorrow.  
  
"I know. Sometimes, people are just taken away much too quickly. It isn't fair. But, it's also not fair to be stuck with my sister. You don't know her, so don't judge my feelings for her. I love her, yes, but not by choice." Lily informed James, her voice tight, almost as if she was struggling to keep composure. James sighed and leaned back in his chair.  
  
"You're right. I'm sorry I snapped. Family is a bit of a sore subject for me." James sratched the back of his neck, looking at the tabletop. Eye contact would break him, and he oculdn't have that in such a public place.  
  
"Yeah. Me too. But, it's better to concentrate on the happier memories. Or not think of it at all." Lily said, turning back to her book. James liked the latter.  
  
"What are you reading?"  
  
"Some self-defense tips. My mum... she was very big in being able to defend yourself and standing up for what you believe in. She forced me into all types of martial arts courses and the like, since I was like 5. Now, though, I only go over the summer and breaks. My sister isn't very happy about it, but it was really important to my parents.." Lily trailed off, staring out into space.  
  
"Oh... I suppose I should be a bit frightened of you. Not only can you kick my butt if we fought muggle, but your duelling skills are probably much higher than my own. It seems like you've spent your whole life training to be an Auror." James said, trying to lighten the mood. She looked so depressed when she talked about her parents...  
  
"Well, I actually never planned to be an Auror until 5th year... stuff happens that gives your life direction, I suppose. Before that, I didn't know what I was going to do. Everything seemed to just fall into place afterwards..." She sighed deeply.  
  
"Yeah, stuff happens. But, it doesn't always make sense and it doesn't always serve a purpose. Sometimes, it just happens." James commented quietly, thinking of his own sister. What purpose could her death have?  
  
"It all has a reason- everything does. Maybe not one we understand, or maybe one that isn't good enough for us, or maybe the reason seems stupid compared to what happened, but there's always a reason. It all leads to something. You never know what is going to happen." James just snorted, unbelieving,  
  
"Are you trying to tell me there's a reason for people to die? Or for them to get killed? That there's a justified reason some nutter is going around, killing people because he feels like it?" James demanded, getting a bit angry. Nothing could justify Rose's death. Nothing. Lily felt frustrated. Thats not what she meant!  
  
"No, of course not! I never said anything about it being justified! I said there was a reason, an effect to everything that happened because of the event or the action or whatever. I don't think there's a JUSTIFIED reason for Voldemont to go around killing people! He has his reasons, and people's actions were effected by his. Those people's murders can't be justified! My family's murder's can't be justified! That's not what I bloody meant!" Lily hissed at James, refusing to yell. He just sat straightbacked in shock. What did she just say? Lily seemed to realized her slip up too, because her hand was over her mouth and her eyes wide.  
  
"Lily. I'm sorry. I hadn't realized. I mean, I knew you have dealt with death, but how many people did he take?" James asked, trying to comfort her. Taking a deep breath, Lily began to gather the books, preparing to put them back on the shelves.  
  
"Forget it. I was just proving my point. It's not something I want to discuss." Lily said, careful to keep her face and voice emotionless. Show no weakness.  
  
"Don't try that shit with me. I know what it feels like, Lily, to lose someone. You feel hurt and sad, lost." Lily was already putting one of the books away, with James right behind her. She laughed softly, her laugh cold and dead.  
  
"I'm not hurt, James, and I'm not sad. I got over that a long time ago. I don't see why you suddenly bloody care, but I lost everyone except my sister, the one who HATES me, two years ago." Lily said, placing the last book back on its shelf.  
  
"Everyone?" James repeated softly, trying to imagine what it must have felt like to be fifteen and completely alone in the world.  
  
"Don't stand there and think you know how I feel, James, because whatever grief you're feeling, I got over a long while ago- and I managed to do it all by myself. You wanna know how I feel now? I'm angry. I'm fucking pissed off. How DARE Voldemont think he can just swoop down and murder everyone who I ever cared about and think he could get away with leaving me alive? No. You think I spent the last two years training to be an Auror? Becoming an Auror is only another step to getting my hands around his scrawny little neck and causing him as much pain as possible." Lily said viciously, her voice full of anger and loathing. Her eyes flashed with disdain at the very thought of Voldemont, and it scared James to the very bone.  
  
"Lily, you don't seriously think you can take on you-know-who by yourself? He'd kill you as soon as you got within yards of him!" James whispered, his voice worried. Lily practically shook from supressed anger.  
  
"I'm not stupid, I never said anything about killing him. I said I wanted to cause him pain- even if I get killed in the process. He took everything from me, James, I can't just let him get away with it." Lily's voice was one of pain and outrage. She was really serious.  
  
"That's bloody suicide! Lily, you can't keep holding onto this pain and anger, you gotta let it go. It can't be healthy!" James pleaded. His mind raced. She didn't put any value on her life! How could someone just be so angry and not care about anything else? She was going to end up killing herself or something! Lily's eyes flashed again.  
  
"Who the hell do you think you are? Telling me what I should and shouldn't do? I can be as angry as I bloody need to be! You said it yourself, I've got a plan! I know where I'm going in my life. If it's the last thing I do, I'm going to be a part of his downfall. And don't you bloody tell me otherwise!" Lily was so angry. She couldn't control how she felt any more than he could! She just needed to get out of the library, get away from James and out into the fresh air.  
  
Not caring that it was dark outside or thinking about the dangers of being outside (even though it was only 8:30), Lily pushed passed James and ran out of the castle. Unfortunately, James was just as fast and followed her. She kept running until she realized she was a bit too close to the Forbidden Forest. Out of habit, she looked up and was relieved to see the moon wasn't full. Since she stopped so abruptly, James ran right into her. Aggravated, Lily pushed him off and jumped to her feet. Her keen ears heard a twig snap and her body went on high alert. She barely listened as James tried to apologize, suddenly searching around her for the source.  
  
She didn't see anything, or anyone. Putting a finger to James' lips, she motioned silently for him to be quiet. She turned towards the castle, looking for anything unusual. James did the same, so neither of them saw the white, hooded figure appear from behind a group of trees and point his wand at the pair.  
  
"STUPEFY!"  
  
**AN: dundundun dun duuuuuun **hehe. sorry about the cliffie- they are evil, i know, but very necessary!!! it felt like a good place to leave the chappie. warning: next chappie has a very lame fight scene, but its only lame because im not good at writing ... fight scenes. anyways. vote: who thinks i should change the summary? im not really sure if i should keep it or not...  
  
**REVIEWERS GET... GIANT STUFFED MAGICIAL CREATURES!!! [JUST YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT CREATURE!!!!]  
**  
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	7. Fighting Frenzy

**disclaimer: i own nothing except the plot**  
  
**HEY EVERYONE!!!!** this one isn't very long (longer than the earlier ones, but still not very long), but its the lame fight scene i promised... so... yeah.. review!!!  
  
**AN:** ok.. well.. i've taken forever to update, im sorry! but, ::sigh:: school is EVIL! and i've been overloaded with s00o0o much work and.. anyways. here ya'll go.  
  
**AN:** guess what! this chappie has the lame fight scene in it.. beasically, its just the fight scene with another lovely ending (hehe. im sure you'll all LOVE it), but i have never been in a REAL fight, expecially not one like this.. so.. don't be too harsh. the next chappie, i think i'm gunna have a lotta fun writing (i would tell you why but it would give away what might happen), so i might have rushed this chappie, but i really didn't mean to!!!  
  
**AN:** um... i HAD something to say here, but i dont remember so.. yeah... i'll tell you people later when i remember...

.... OH YEAH! um.. i may not be able to update for a little while, only because of school and stuff i dunno when i'll have time to write out the chappie. but, after the 8th chappie, i dont really have anything planned, so there might be some space between the chappies, but i promise i will update ASAP!!!!!  
  
**AN:** MY REVIEWERS: OH MY MERLIN!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ALL!!! YOU ARE ALL SO FRIGGIN' NICE!!!! I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!!!!! YOU ALL ROCK!!!!!! (LIKE 20 REVIEWS?!?!? I COULDNT BELIEVE IT- I WAS SO HAPPY!!!!)  
  
EVERYONE- REVIEW!!!!!  
  
**REVIEW RESPONSES:**  
  
**Shuichi66:** i know, cliffies are evil... but so much fun for th author ::grin:: of course you get a stuffed animal! (since you didn't pick one, i get to pick one for you) ::a stuffed, red and gold polka-dotted Kneazle appears from thin air:: there you go. have fun!  
  
**randomfrizzhead:** i know, she spilt her guts. i was planning to wait a bit, but it comes when it comes. i'm gunna try to stop as much pity from possible, and since she only told james i dont think she'll hafta worry, since he's kinda going through it now, but she may get a few pitying glances from remmi, depends on how the next few chappies go. really, i think she'll be earning more respect than pity... hopefully at least. evil cliffies :) i love them as an author, hate them as a reader. um.. what creature to pick? umm.. ::a stuffed, red and gold striped flying lion appears from thin air:: :) goooo lions!  
  
**dreamy-crazygirl:** actually, you're the only one who asked for a unicorn. i know, cliffies are evil, but so much fun for the author. i cant tell you who it is, but you'll see if you read! i dunno if the healing will come quite yet, im thinking some more anger first, remember how much she had supressed? now, it's all bubbling out (which kinda tells you what might happen... anyways..) i still havent gotten to the livejournal thing, im sorry! but, i promise, after i update this i will. my friends have livejournal stuff, so i get what it is now. i said they were fantabulous. fantastic and fabulous cross. i love that word. SATs? i dont hafta take them just yet. what grade are you in? i dunno when i start to take them, but im still a freshman, so i dont hafta worry just yet. they dont sound nice... lolz. i have personal space issues myself, but if i ever see some girl staring at me in an elevator, i'll make sure to say hello0oo0o. :) i get really claustrophobic when im in a small place with a buncha people... radcliff is cool, but grint is s0o0o0o much better... i dunno why.. i think its his hair... i just love red hair... ::sigh:: anyways. its wasnt really a transition chappie, but it was kinda leading to this one, so it was these two chappies were like one big one cut in half. im glad you liked it :) ::a stuffed, unicorn with daniel radcliff pictures on it appears from thin air::  
  
**hpandfriendsruletheworld:** im glad you like it :) you like cliffies? im glad, you'll like the ending to this chappie (tho it isnt really a cliffie... kinda.. sorta... you'll see) thanks!! ::a stuffed, red flying kitten with gold stars appears from thin air:: ok, now im making up animals.. so what?  
  
**Anochera:** i know, cliffies are evil, but they are s0o0oo0 much fun for meeee :) of course it counts as a review!!! and, sorry, but i dont have an update program, usually its whenever i have the time to finish a chappie and everything.. sorry. ::a stuffed, yellow pig with giant gold wings appears from thin air::  
  
**cris-phoenix:** cliffies are evil... sorry.. here's the update. :) ::a stuffed, gold flying hippogriff with red wings appears from thin air::  
  
**NecroLord:** thanks, i m glad you like it. and, i know judaism isn't a race, but hitler thought of them as one and persecuted them as a race. thats just the way it came out, sorry. i have a history of the holocaust class, which is why i made the connection between hitler and voldemont... so, yeah, sorry about putting race, i meant to put people, but sometimes i think one thing and type out another...did you know, you're the only person who commented on that topic at all? ::a stuffed, red owl with bright gold eyes/random feathers appears from thin air::  
  
**Chrys-Moony-Marauder:** i am so0o0o0o glad you like it!!! and im thrilled you dont think its cheesy or anything, it makes me s0o0o0o0o happy!!!! i won!!! yay!!!! ::a stuffed, red and gold sphinx appears from thin air::  
  
**shadowed.phoenix:** a blessing?? REALLY?? WHOOOHOOO! oh, you make me s0o0o0o0oo happy!!!!! the spats are always fun, but its the big blowout im really looking forward to writing (i shouldnt have said that... oops.. well, it isnt telling you too much) i know i havent mentioned much about sirius and remmi, but they might come in later, who knows? anyways, i like unique lilys. im trying to make her different, nad im glad you like it! :) here's the chappie. and.. um... since you didnt pick an animal, i'll pick one for you..::a stuffed, red blast-ended skrewt (spelling?) with gold spots appears from thin air::  
  
**Book Lover 990:** im glad you liked it! ::a stuffed, red and gold flying frog-prince appears from thin air::  
  
**MissCleo:** incredible? you are so friggin sweet! i know, the drama is non-stop, but its almost at the climax of the story, so after the next chappie or so, either the 8th or 9th one, the drama should ease up a bit, im not sure. i wanted her parent's death to kinda be the reason why she was so angry and so concentratedon her work and so drawn into her self, and im glad you got that. im glad you thought it was original. here's the update! ::a stuffed, gold flying stag appears from thin air::  
  
**reviewer:** im glad you found it so real. makes me feel special. :) ::a stuffed, red and gold centuar (spelling?) appears from thin air::  
  
**the-power-of-love:** :) glad you liked it. here's the update. ::a stuffed, red and gold nymph appears from thin air::  
  
**ZayneLily:** gummy bears rock!!! sounds like you? hmm.. are you on a mission to kill anyone? vengence? hm.. well, lets hope not. hehe. anyways, im glad you connected to lily. here's the update!! ::a stuffed, red and cold polka-dotted baby penguin appears from thin air::  
  
**LisBleu:** im sorry i had to leave it at that! tahts what cliffies are! :) hehe. ::a stuffed, silver pegasus (i cant spell it either) appears from thin air::  
  
**Dans-girl-4ever:** im glad you like it! wait no longer, here it is! ::a stuffed, yellow flying monkey and gold appears from thin air::  
  
**Flame Of Desire:** im glad you liked the socks!!! socks rock!! hehe. thanks! ::a stuffed, red and gold .. um...glow-in-the-dark moose appears from thin air::  
  
**KBS:** im glad you like it! they are getting closer, and yeah, lily's kinda leading to possible future events, but she dont know it... yeah, james had the right advice, but she wasnt exactly in a frame on mind to accept it. she spazzed. hehe. she's in a very angry mindframe right now, but hopefully she'll get rid of it soon. it isnt healthy, but she hasta figgure it out herself. you'll see what happens ::a stuffed, red and gold pheonix and the black/white hippogriff appear from thin air::  
  
**angelzsweet90:** cliffies suck for you, but are really fun for meeeee to write! here you go! ::a stuffed, red and gold doggie (that...um... is magical..) appears from thin air::  
  
**James-RoxMySox:** here you go!!!! im glad you like it so much. and awww... you always have such nice things to say to me!!! you're so nice!!! angry lily.. yeah, she'll be angry for a few more chappies, but hopefully she'll start to release so of it. :) ::a stuffed, red and gold flying.. um.. hippo.. (sure, why not?) appears from thin air::  
  
**AN:** im sorry if some of you didnt like your animals, feel free to trade amongst yourself, but im sorry, i couldnt think of any magical creatures that no one had mentioned, so i started making them up or using regular animals with wings.. yeah... im really bad with remembering the names.  
  
**Chapter 7: Fighting Frenzy**  
  
Lily tensed up and sprung against James, pushing both of them out of harm's way. Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw the jet of red light zoom past them. Jumping to her feet, Lily saw the Death Eater fade back into the forest.  
  
"Damn it." Lily breathed as she pulled James up from the ground. Her eyes never once left the forest. Grabbing him by the wrist, Lily pulled James behind a clump of trees that would serve as a temporary protection.  
  
"Lily, c'mon, we gotta go get Dumbledo-" James was suddenly cut off. Out of nowhere, four new Death Eaters came out of the forest along with the first. Lily's wand was at the ready and James pulled his out as well.  
  
"We can't take them by ourselves-" James whispered urgently, only to be cut off by Lily's breathless voice.  
  
"James- run. Go get Dumbledore. I should be able to hold these nutters off." Lily ordered as she took a stronger stance. The Death Eaters were.. well, it seemed as if they were gliding over towards them. Whatever they were doing, Lily saw they were coming at an amazing rate, looking for something or someone Lily thought grimly. James had to leave NOW if she was to hold them off for long.  
  
"No, I can't leave you here. You run, I can handle this. No big deal, right?" James said, trying to step in front of Lily for "protection". Lily just rolled her eyes.  
  
"Bloody hell. Stop trying to be some kind of hero, Potter. You know as well as I do that there is a much better chance of me holding them off than you. Just go! Now!" James just shook his head stubbornly.  
  
"Lily, here they come!" James shouted as Lily pounced on the nearest Death Eater. Knocking the wand out of his hand, Lily managed to knock the man unconcious in a matter of minutes. Turning towards the forest, she saw five new Death Eaters come towards them. Oh Shit! Lily thought. Turning just in time, Lily blocked another Death Eater and ran towards James.  
  
"James- Look, see how they aren't really walking. Almost gliding sort of?" Lily asked as she pushed James behind another clump of trees. The tops of said trees were flaming within seconds due to the spells sent by the oncoming Death Eaters. James nodded, trying to hold his shield spell in place.  
  
"Well, we can use it to our advantage- their balance is way off. Oh crap!" The trees they had been hiding behind was suddenly blown away.  
  
"Lily! Watch out!" James shouted as a figure clad in a white robe and hood sent another spell after her. Lily dodged it easily, bringing James along with her.  
  
"Lily, they have reinforcements! Look! There's got to be at least 10 of them now!" James exclaimed as both he and Lily managed to stun one of the Death Eaters who hadn't been paying very close attention. Their combined efforts knocked the man right out.  
  
"Well, 8, if you don't count that one and the one I knocked over before." James gave her a look that clearly said "Right- eight is so much better than ten". The pair started off side by side, but the fighting seperated them. Lily managed to kick, punch, and/or spell two more Death Eaters as James was doing his best duelling against another two. Lily, duelling a masked moron of her own, tripped, giving the Death Eater an advantage. He lowered his wand as Lily did her best to find hers, but suddenly he was pummled from the side. His head made a resounding CRACK as it hit a nearby rock, leaving the Death Eater's white hood ... well... not so white. Lily regained her composure and smiled her gratitude.  
  
Behind James' back, a Death Eater had cast yet another spell in his direction, but Lily managed to knock James out of the way and send a hex right at the Death Eater, knocking him out. Five Death Eaters down, five to go. Lily thought with grim determination. There was no choice but to fight- no one else was out at 9, not those days, it was too dangerous. The castle was too far away to make a run for it- they'd be dead the moment they turned their backs. Her face set, Lily shielded herself from a curse sent by Mask-man number 6. Physical force, while sometimes inneffective against a grown man, worked wonders at the right moments.  
  
Muggle fighting was so foreign to these racist pigs that they never thought to protect themselves against it. Taking a running start, Lily managed to knock the guy straight into the ground. He pushed her off, and they both scrambled to their feet. He began to float towards her once again. Throwing a Banishing Charm at the floating Death Eater, she was pleased to see it pushed him yards away and smashed him right into another tree.  
  
In another battle, those still standing might stop to help their fallen men, but in this one, no one in the white robes seemed to notice much beyond their own duel.  
  
"See James?" Lily yelled. "THIS is one of the occasions knowing that spell we were talking about would be beneficial!" James smiled at her stab at humor, but didn't have the energy to say anything. After knocking out the Death Eater who had been taking cheap shots at Lily, he was doing his best to survive the double-team-attack he was currently under. Lily rushed over to him and took over on one front.  
  
Within moments her duel was over, only for another to start. James managed to knock out his duel partner with a spelled rock right to the head. Ducking behind a pile of rocks, James managed to catch his breath. They had knocked out eight guys, by his calculations, so why was there another six men in front of them?  
  
James heard Lily scream. Jumping up, he saw two of the Death Eaters were holding Lily as another prepared to curse her. James pointed his wand at the first one and shouted the first curse that came to his mind.  
  
"Petrificus Totalus!" The Death Eater's legs and arms snapped together and he fell forward, unable to move. In the moment of distraction, Lily managed to pull free of the two bumbling boys with a few placed kicks and dodges, and with help from James they managed to knock the pair out. James ran over to her, trying to stun another Death Eater while he did. The man deflected it with ease and sent another towards them, which Lily deflected with a bit more effort. She was exhausted- they both were. But Lily refused to give up.  
  
They had knocked down eleven guys- wait, eleven! Lily realized that more must have come. A quick glance showed her that there were still four more Death Eaters. Two to four- they could handle that. Turning quickly, Lily thought she heard something behind her. Her feet were sluggish and she tripped. Swinging, she haphazardly hit one of the Death Eaters, knocking his wand out of his hand. Losing her balance, Lily fell, but pulled the masked man down with her. Luckily, she managed to keep from getting injured by the fall, but she was trapped underneath at least 150 pounds of some prick who hit his head on something hard and sharp.  
  
"Oh, bugger!" Lily muttered as she managed to pull herself up from underneath the Death Eater- thankful he was on the smaller side (have you seen the size of some of these cult followers? bloody huge!). Standing up, Lily looked for James. He was curently wrestling a Death Eater while another tried to get a clear shot at him.  
  
"Get away from him!" Lily yelled and charged at the Death Eater, who dodged her easily. Turning quickly, Lily put her wand at the man's chest and yelled.  
  
"Stupefy!" At such close range, there was no way to not knock the man out. He fell, his eyes still wide in shock at being spared- he had been expecting much worse. Lily turned and was shocked to see James unconcious on the floor, with two Death Eaters closing in on him. But Lily didn't see the two as they glided over towards the fallen boy. Stumbling over herself with tears in her eyes, Lily ran towards James. It would be all her fault if something happened to him! She just couldn't bear to think that he could be hurt...or worse, dead.  
  
Stupidly, Lily failed to notice the Death Eaters that were dangerously close. Leaning over James, checking for a pulse, for anything to show that he was alive, Lily felt a chill enter her back. Everything suddenly felt numb. The last thing she saw was James' face, his eyes wide open in shock. Vaguely, Lily realized he must have been stunned.  
  
Then, it all went black.  
  
**AN:** ok, another cliffie. im sorry!!! but, its necessary cuz the next chappie has to like be on its own, it wouldnt be the same if it continued on in this chappie. i am really looking forward to writing the next one (cuz i kinda know what its gunna be about) so if you REVIEW REALLY REALLY FAST i promise to update soon!!!!!  
  
um... for my bribe... um...** REVIEWERS GET A PAIR OF SINGING PJ PANTS!!!** (has anyone ever seen them? they are so0o0o0 cool! i have a pair of singing boxer shorts and i love them!!!) tell me the patterns, and if you want a certain song, tell me which one!!  
  
HEY EVERYONE- ok, this is the 7th chappie, and i have about 3 more (roughly, kinda almost, vague-idea type)planned out, but im not quite sure if it will go past the 10th or 11th chappie. it depends on how these chappies come out and how many reviews i get and stuff. um... i had something to say, but i really can't remember. like an idiot, i didnt write it down... so yeah... i'll tell you all later.  
  
**REVIEW!!!!!**


	8. Sharp as Swords

first, lemme start off with saying i am SOOOOOO sorry!!!!! its been like FOREVER since i've updated! ugh, i could sit here and list all my excuses, but really, i just got really lazy after my midterms and was like all blah, which sooo adds up to writer's block. BUT, this chappie, i have to say, came out really good, i think at least, but if you all REVIEW i'll know whether it is or not!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
ok, now that i'm done grovelling and apologizing, this chappie is the lily-gets-pissed scene and i need feedback to know what you all want to happen next (and if you think the chappie is any good, but that's a given, so.. yeah..) because i'm coming up against a major mental roadblock.  
  
um... i think that's everything i had to say.. i dunno... i feel weird when i dont like have anything to say at the beginning of a story... i feel like im forgetting something... well...  
  
REVIEW PEOPLE!!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!! (begging shamelessly, i know... but i just love reviews so much!!!)  
  
TO ALL MY REVIEWERS, I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!  
  
**REVIEWERS:  
**  
**KBS:** thanks!!!!! im glad you like it!!! here's the next update, sorry it took so long!!!! ::gives you a pair of singing PJ pants, red with golden lions, singing the gryffindor fight song::  
  
**MissCleo:** i looooove insulting people, especially evil peoples like ugly death eaters!!!!!! that's how i remember her writing them, but now that you mention it, im not sure. they do kinda seem similar to the KKK tho, dont they? well, thats how i see them, so that's how i'm gunna write them. im glad you like it. lily? sweet? well... in this story, i wouldn't call her sweet just yet- strong, independent, scary at times maybe... well.. i could see the sweetness... thanks for reviewing!!! ::gives you a pair of singing PJ pants, red with golden lions, singing the gryffindor fight song::  
  
**Annmarie Aspasia:** im glad you liked the line. that's how this chappie starts, im trying to get it to bleeeend. i LOVE gummi bears!!!!! they rock!!!!!! uh, yeah, that penguin is for yooooou. i hope you loooove it. well, i'm glad you are not trying to kill anyone (brother's dont count... if they did, there would be a whole lotta attemted murderers out there called "sisters") yeah, she bottles stuff up (and i do too, sometimes) but, she kinda... expresses herself in this chappie. ::gives you a pair of singing PJ pants, red with golden lions, singing the gryffindor fight song::  
  
**shawdowed.phoenix:** i am evil, aren't i? hmm... maybe i should consider a name change... lolz. the chappie was evil, the cliffie, but, here's more angry lily, so enjoy! im soooo glad you liked the fight scene, you are soooo nice!!!!! i cant tell you about the eternal love of LJ, but they isnt dead... did it seem like they were dead?... i hope not... anyways... thank you for telling me what kind of pants you wanted! ::gives you a pair of singing PJ pants, green with big gold hearts, singing Jumper by Third Eye Blind and Luckiest by Ben Folds:: ENJOY!!  
  
**hpandfriendsruletheworld:** im glad you think its the coolest!!!!!! mwaz!!!!! ::gives you a pair of singing PJ pants, red with golden lions, singing the gryffindor fight song::  
  
**daleia:** i hate cliffies as a reader, but i LOVE them as an auther, they are SOOO much fun!!! she is a little sour, i guess, but she's dealing with a lot, and she lets off some steam in this chappie, but she'll be softening up soon (maybe... we'll see... depends on where the story leads) im on your alert list? WHOO!!! yay! singing pj pants are just regular pj pants (or shorts) that have like a button type of thing sewn into a like pocket of fabric that when you press it, it sings a programmed song. that's a really sucky description... sorry... anyways... ::gives you a pair of singing PJ pants, red with golden lions, singing the gryffindor fight song::  
  
**Anochera:** i am SOOOO sorry the update took soo long. it took like FOREVER and i am sooooooooo sorry. i cant just let them snog, we gotta build up to that point, if i ever get there... hmm... we'll see. well... you'll see what happens. but, dont put too much on that bet. they are taken hostage... you'll see, just read (AND REVIEW!!) ::gives you a pair of singing PJ pants, blue with silver stars and moons, singing dance of the sugar plum fairy::  
  
**CaptainOatsPrincessSparkle:** Im glad you like it so much!!!!!! here's the update, that took forever- sorry!!- and i hope you like it. ... i cant tell you when they'll get together (mostly cuz i dont know), but if you keep reading and reviewing, you'll find out!!!!!! :) ::gives you a pair of singing PJ pants, red with golden lions, singing the gryffindor fight song::  
  
**Book Lover990:** thanks!!!!! ::gives you a pair of singing PJ pants, red with golden lions, singing the gryffindor fight song::  
  
**James-RoxMySox:** Im glad you likey the hippo! i like giving gifts, cuz you review all da time and i love you for it!!! i think i like antagonizing you just a bit more than feeding your lovely ego, but both are fun. i am not a patient person either, so i am soooo sorry it took sooo long!!! and i love cliffies as i writer, cuz sooo many more ppl review! I get a gift? hm... lets think... i dont want to give away any of my bribe-ideas... how about... a giant stuffed animal or something... kinda like the bribe for chappie 6... but, you dont need ot get me anything, your reviews are sooo much of a reward ::ahem bribe ahem:: ::gives you a pair of singing PJ boxes, silky and baby pink, singing Push Up by free stylers:: enjoy!!!  
  
**Chrys-Moony-Marauder:** I'm glad you like it so much, and im dreadfully sorry you had to go do homework... im the same way... procrastinating is just so much fun and sooo much easier... which is why it took me so long update, cuz i had such a crapload of work to do for midterms that i couldn't push it off any longer. here's the next chappie, enjoy!! (i dunno if thats the word, recompense, but close enough, right?) ::gives you a pair of singing PJ pants, red with golden lions, singing the gryffindor fight song::  
  
**dreamy-crazygirl:** im glad you liked the fight seen and yeah, all those deatheaters are like wack-a-moles, they just keep coming until there were too many to take. they come from thin air, i tell you! they were just appearing and appearing. it was such an unfair fight!! im glad you liked it, i wasn't too sure about how it turned out, but so long as you all like it, it's all good. you'll see what happens!! i think i could manage talking pjs, but what would they say? (does ron ever know when he says somethign stupid? he's just so... ronnie... ::sigh::) i gotta disagree, i think radcliff had it covered in the beginning, but ronnikins grew up, and now i just love him!!!! felton looks too old to be thirteen, and he's okay, but i got a thing for redheads, what can i say? and with the accent i'm just... im melted. sorry it took me such a long time to update!!! ::gives you a pair of singing PJ pants, red with golden lions, with random ron sayings, including "what did i do now?" and "i hate viktor krum":: you can adjust the sayings to something more funnier :)  
  
**Dans-girl-4ever:** i'm glad you loved it :) and i'm glad you likeded the monkey!!!! here's the next chappie (sorry it took so long) ::gives you a pair of singing PJ pants, red with golden lions, singing the gryffindor fight song::  
  
**the-power-of-love:** im glad you liked it!! ::gives you a pair of singing PJ pants, red with golden lions, singing the gryffindor fight song::  
  
**THANKS EVERYONE!!!!** sorry my bribes weren't as creative as usual, but if you didnt give me a specific PJ pants, you got red pants with gold lions with the fight song. sorry, but when i realized how long it wsa since i updated, i reallly didn't want to spend the time coming up with a different design. sorry. i hope y'all like the pants. :-D  
  
**Chapter 8: Sharp as Swords**  
  
Then, it all went black...  
  
Lily's eyelids felt heavy, like she had been sleeping for quite a long time, too long. After a few seconds, she managed to open her eyes a slit. With some more effort, she managed to open her eyes completely. Blinking rapidly, Lily forced the last bit of slumber from her eyes. Alert, Lily took in her surroundings- it was dark and silent, in a small clearing free of trees. She recognized where she was within the next few moments. The Forbidden Forest.  
  
A bit of pale moonlight filtered through the trees. There was enough for her to be able to see clearly once her eyes adjusted. Taking a deep breath, the girl tried to loosen the ropes that bound her to a tree. All she managed to do was move her right arm slightly. As she did, her hand brushed against soft skin. Turning her head quickly, Lily saw James tied next to her, knocked out but still breathing.  
  
Thank Merlin, Lily thought to herself. Lily needed a plan. A quick scan of the nearby trees told her there wasn't a guard posted, at least not that she could see. There was always the possiblitily of an invisibility cloak or something- who knew? Now, Lily's mind was on high alert and as sharp as ever. She knew that if the Death Eaters hadn't killed them, it was for a reason. The worst reason? Because they were planning on kidnapping them or something to some foreign country where they wouldn't know how to get home. Best? Lily smiled grimly at the thought. Voldemont was in the area and was planning on paying the a little visit.  
  
Lily was surprised when she noticed how close they were to the castle- apparently, the bumbling baffoons were just as frightened of the Forest and its creatures as most students were. HOW could she have let herself get caught by such MORONS? She was furious with herself and with the whole bloody situation. Her anger was clouding her judgement. Taking a deep breath, Lily managed to clear her head. She would need all of her skills and cleverness to figure our how to get out of here with at least James alive.  
  
Craning her neck, Lily noticed a hill a few yards off. If she could get James and herself out of these ropes in time, and she managed somehow to carry James past the hill, they'd be home free. If James was awake, they could hold their own enough to get to the castle- hopefully at least. It depended on how many Death Eaters were hidden in the trees.  
  
Moving her shoulders and arms, Lily managed to loosen the ropes around her upper body a bit more. Turning her head to face James, Lily nudged him with her arm.  
  
"James. James- c'mon, wake up." She whispered. Without opening his eyes, James just mumbled and tried to turn over. She moved her hand and managed to grab onto his arm, a little above the elbow. Pinching hard, Lily managed to wake up James. His immediate reaction was to panic. Her voice soothed him enough that he stopped struggling.  
  
"Look. We have to find a way out of here. Think, James. Any way we can get out of these ropes?" Lily whispered urgently. James blinked the sleep out of his eyes rapidly. He shook his head silently and began to search the woods around them and she could tell by his expression that he was calculating their odds. She noticed that his first reaction wasn't anger, as hers was, but survival. She respected him for that, it may end up saving their lives.  
  
"James. If we get out of these ropes... Look at me! Listen! This is important!" Lily whispered harshly. James turned his head to face her. "If we get out of these ropes, then run towards that hill. See it?" James nodded, his eyes following hers to the hilltop. "Run over it, and we're home free. It'll protect our backs and we can reach the castle. But first, we have to get out of these damn ropes." James' eyes began to wander the forest again.  
  
"Lily. Look over there." James motioned with his head to another part of the forest. "Try to stare at it without blinking. See that flicker?" Lily nodded, her eyes losing focus, but the flicker growing clearer.  
  
"It's an invisibility spell. Someone's over there." Lily whispered, realizing what he had seen. "That means there are probably more of them, hidden." James nodded, his eyes still scanning the surrounding forest, looking for any suspicious thing.  
  
"We have to wait until one of the reveals themself." James said, his voice determined and strong.  
  
"Well, you won't have to wait long..." A cold voice drawled from the shadows. Right before their eyes, Voldemont himself appeared.  
  
It was like all the wind was knocked out of him. That voice chilled him to the very bone. Chancing a quick glance towards Lily, he saw that she was trying her best to look unimpressed and remain strong. She refused to show fear- and so would he. Straughtening himself the best he could, James looked straight at Voldemont, his gaze icy cold. His fear was still there, but it was slowly being buried underneath a very large amount of anger.  
  
Lily had a smirk on her face, the kind of smirk that made you want to grab her shoulders and shake her, you knew she was going to say something that would piss someone off.... Which is exactly what she did. James winced inwardly when he heard her tone.  
  
"Oh, lookie here. Big, bad Voldemont has come to town." Lily taunted, her voice dripping in sarcasm and mocking. James' eyes went wide- why did she feel a need to provoke Voldemont? Because, a little voice in the back of his head sighed, She has a death wish, remember? Mocking Voldemont is like a dream come true for her!  
  
"Mudblood, I'd advise you to keep quiet. One flick of the wrist, and you're no one's burden any longer." Voldemont said calmly and coldly, an edgy smile curling his thin lips. Lily snickered, her voice full of disbelief and ridicule.  
  
"That's all I get? An insult even the first-years can top and a insy-winsy death threat?" Lily scoffed. "I thought you were more creative than that, Voldemont. Tut tut tut. I'm disappointed..." Lily laughed slightly, shaking her head in an "I expected more of you" kind of way. Voldemont's eyes lit up, a flicker of anger passing through them. The next moment, it was gone, his icy calm demeanor back in place.  
  
"Ah ah ah, I wouldn't say such things to me if I was you- remember, it is I who is in control. My decision to whether or not I make your death quick or very, very slow." Voldemont's demented-looking face looked even more grotesque with the forced smile he was wearing. James knew he was angry.  
  
A few more insults and they'd be dead, but James knew to shut her up would show fear and weakness. They had to seem strong and unafraid. He had to trust that Lily had a plan. Besides, anger made him bold and unwilling to back down. He tried to keep his cool, to think clearly. Where were their wands? He heard Lily scoff once again, her voice angry as it taunted the man standing before them.  
  
"Wait a second, are you telling me this is the Voldemont everyone is so frightened of? I just can't believe it- Bring out the REAL Voldemont. You know, the scary, powerful one everyone is always talking about, the one who is supposedly supposed to scare me witless before he kills me coldblooded. Puh-lease. Like you'd even have the guts to take me on. Before you even come to visit you have to have us attacked, what was it, 15 to 2? Got to make sure they tie us up tight and take our wands before you can come out of your hiding spot? ..What, you scared of little ol' MUGGLEBORN me?" Lily asked, feigned confusion spreading through her face. Voldemont's face remained calm, but she knew by his eyes she had struck a nerve.  
  
"Bite your tongue- You are no threat to me, no use either. Just empty space, without a purpose or a soul." Voldemont whispered darkly, trying his best to strike fear in her heart. It was no use, she just giggled.  
  
"Is that the best you got?" She asked incredulously. "I mean, I know you're the newer villian on the block, but come on. You gotta have something better than that... Oh no, wait, is that it? All you have to throw at me is a few minions and some weak words. And here I was expected a challenge, a thrill in my last moments." Here is when her voice turned cold as the arctic, losing any pretend playfullness she might have shown.  
  
"Oh, I have a purpose in my life- a reason to live. You wanna know what it is? TO SEE YOU DEAD! You bloody arrogant creature, you are my purpose, your downfall is my fondest dream. You can kill me if you want, but it won't matter. I was here and I refuse to fear you. You hear me? You took EVERYTHING from me, EVERYTHING!! Who gave you the right to change my life like that- to take what I lived for? But, now I see it was all for nothing. There's no point- killing you wouldn't do anything. There would be no revenge in it, it wouldn't make it better. Wouldn't even be very hard." Lily's voice regained her mocking attitude.  
  
"I don't know what I've been fearing all these years, but it most certainly wasn't you. Not a tremble, not even a whimper. Why should I be scared? You took the coward's way- couldn't even bring yourself to fight me like a MAN. Oh, I'm so scared, Voldie is gunna take the cheap shot and make an easy kill. It's a shame I wasted all that time, toughing up to face you. You're Death Eaters are probably even more powerful then you. Or at least braver, they actually fought against us." James heard Lily speak, her voice light and taunting, but he felt her shake with supressed rage, fighting against the ropes that bound her. There was almost like an aura surrounding her, like power was radiating out from her. James found he was able to move a bit more, the ropes had loosened yet again.  
  
Voldemont's voice was sharp, his face barely masking his outrage. This.. this Mudblood was insulting HIM? No, she was the one who should be put in her place, that should be knocked off her high horse. As she took a breath to continue to berate him, Voldemont interrupted.  
  
"You insolent little fool. How dare you speak to me in such ways? You should have shut your mouth when you had the chance- now, I must say goodbye." Lily rolled her eyes and he rose his wand.  
  
"Of course, you going to kill me now, while I'm unable to defend myself or even bloody move. The easy shot, right to the heart. I thought I was going to face the greatest evil wizard of our time, but instead they send this...this... this wanna-be to sort out this mess. A little boy who wants to prove he's the biggest, baddest toddler on the playground. Oh, look, I'm shaking in my bloody boots. Newsflash, Voldemont, you just ain't going to cut it, you're just the kid who got pushed in the damn sandbox one too many times, aren't you?" Lily laughed, her laugh cold and mocking, taunting him without words.  
  
It was so surreal, this whole experience, as if she was dreaming it or reading about it or something. Any fear she might of felt was still inside her, squashed down with everything else. What did she care? As long as James got to safety, it didn't matter. And, the only way to keep him safe is to keep Voldemont talking. Voldemont took the brief silence as an oppurtunity to turn the tables.  
  
"You nasty little Mudblood. How sorry I feel for you- to have lost everyone in such a short period of time. The grief you must have felt for their meaningless deaths, all because of you." Voldemont's eyes flashed. Never had anyone put up such a fight before, he was actually almost starting to enjoy the banter.  
  
"SHUT UP ABOUT MY FAMILY, YOU STUPID, BLOODY MURDERING BASTARD! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO EVEN THINK ABOUT THEM!" Lily's calm was gone, her desire to taunt and ridicule Voldemont replaced with an overbearing, overpowering surge of anger and loathing. Now it was Voldemont's turn to act disappointed.  
  
"Is that the best you have?" His eyes glinted in the moonlight. Lily managed to calm her voice down, but her anger was just below the surface. James felt it and tried, as subtly as possible, to move about enough to loosen the rope. They had to get it off, and while he was distracted was the best time. James' eye was caught by two wooden sticks by their feet- their wands. Man, are those Death Eaters stupid, James though to himself.  
  
"Why'd you do it. Why couldn't you have just let them be?" Lily asked, her voice tight and uneven, emotions bleeding through.  
  
"You. Because of you." Voldemont smiled, pointed teeth reflecting in the moonlight.  
  
"Bullshit. I want to know. Why did you have to kill them all?" Lily demanded. If she wasn't going to get her fight, she sure as hell would get an explanation.  
  
"Patience, Mudblood, patience. I am in no mood to share my sercrets just yet... I think we have a few more things to discuss first... Maybe, for instance, like your soon-to-be-dead boyfriend over here? Hm.. maybe I should kill him first, then you." Voldemont said, in mock thoughtfulness. James was still squirming, with his feet on their wands. Lily felt her anger boiling to the surface once again.  
  
"Leave James out of this! Leave him the bloody hell alone!" Lily's voice was defensive and strong, nothing was going to happen to James if she could help it. James wasn't paying attention to the conversation. His focus was on squirming his way out of the rope and getting the wands. He felt Lily's anger radiate from her, and he wasn't sure he wanted to think about what might happen if Lily lost it...  
  
"Why do you care so much about him. You know he doesn't care about you. All he wanted you for was a good f-" Voldemont's chilling voice was suddenly cut off by a rope around his throat. Lily lost all contol. A strong wing blowing her hair and clothes back, Lily stepped away from the tree they had been bound to. Taking a few steps closer to Voldemont, she walked around him slowly as he fell to his knees, suffocating.  
  
"C'mon, darling, keep talking. The more you say, the tighter that noose is gunna get. You can say whatever the hell you want about me, but insult my family and you won't last much longer..." Lily whispered, her voice rasping and low, threatening and dangerous. James, also free from the bindings, picked up his and Lily's wand. Instantaneously, he heard a rustle in the undergrowth coming from at least four directions. They must have seen Voldemont fall to the floor.  
  
"Well, I never knew Potter was family. Proves he's a bloodtraitor." Voldemont managed to gasp out. The rope around his neck tightened even more. It seemed Lily had very little control over the wild magic flowing through her. It was just happening, the wind and her power growing as her anger grew. Voldemont began to search wildly, suddenly remembering his wand. Lily laughs at the sight.  
  
"See that, Voldemont, I didn't need a wand to bring you to your knees. I didn't need to send 15 people after you, and I didn't demolish all of your defences. Some evil genius you are, can't even take on little me without your little cult members. Well, today, I get the upperhand. You're going to pay for what you did to my family and I'll be damned if-" Lily was suddenly knocked off her feet. Two men held her arms, holding her back from charging at Voldemont, who was back on his feet, the rope in his hands.  
  
"RUN, JAMES!" Lily yelled, realizing this was the end for her. No way Voldemont would give her that kind of opening again. He tried to run towards Lily, but he didn't move fast enough. Another Death Eater held onto James, leaving no way to escape. Voldemont leaned down, his face close to Lily's.  
  
"You little wench. How dare you? I think, instead of killing you first, we'll start with the boy. Ample punishment for attempted murder, don't you agree?" Voldemont chuckled slightly, his face leering closely towards hers before turning towards James. A protectiveness rose up in Lily, giving her a second wind. Taking a quick step backwards, Lily managed to use her weight and swing the minion on her left into the one on her right. Yanking her arms free of both of them, Lily used their bulk to push off of and gain momentum. Within moments, Lily had rammed into the Death Eater holding James, sending both herself and James sprawling down the hillside.  
  
When they had reached the bottom, Lily chanced a quick glance upwards. Voldemont was standing at the top of the hill, half hidden in shawdow, staring out ahead. Marching towards them was all the Hogwarts teachers, lead by Professor Dumbledore himself. Lily felt relief flood through her. Forcing her bruised body to stand, Lily pulled James up with her. They had to get closer to Dumbledore, or else Volemont still had a chance at getting them. As fast as they could, Lily and James began to run across the field.  
  
By the time they were halfway there, Lily chanced another glance up at Voldemont, only to see the hilltop deserted. They must have escaped. Lily swore to herself and turned to look for Dumbledore. He had stopped only a few yards away. No longer needed, Lily's strength left her body in a second. Her legs collapsed underneath her and she landed with a great big thump on the soft grass. She felt James fall next to her and the last thing she saw before falling asleep was a pair of blue, worried eyes that no longer held that twinkle Lily loved so much.

**AN:** ok... to clarify, they aren't dead. im sorry if it seemed like that last chappie or if they sound dead this chappie, but they aren't. just wanted to clear up any confusion. anyways.  
  
if i missed anyone in my thank-yous, i am soooo sorry. feel free you review and yell at me for missing you. my computer is so stupid, so blame it on the computer!!!! (the computer is also to blame for any bad grammer/spelling stuff)  
  
and i really really really really really really hope that i didnt lose any reviewers because it took so long to update. please, everyone, update!!!!!!  
  
i love all of you!!! please review!!! reviewers get... hm... sundaes? giant sundaes with your choice of ice cream and toppings!!!!!! review!!!! 


	9. Finding Some Help

**Sorry it took sooo long for me to update... im kinda losing interest in this story just a bit... i started another one that im really, really excited about, so i've kinda been ignoring this one just a little bit. plus, science fair is like overwhelming along with everything else i have to deal with at school. im sorry!!**

**here's the next chapter. its pretty much just Sirius and Remus' point of view of what happened and them trying to figure everything out. kinda filler-ish.**

**DISCLAIMER**: i own nothing except the plot

**I LOVE YOU ALL**:

**Jersey Princess**: im going to reply to all your reviews in one shot. thanks soooo much for reviewing to all the chappies that you reviewed to! (which was all of them). im glad you liked it! ::gives Princess all the bribes promised:: ( only because im too lazy to type out all 8 bribes). And its not that i dont like best-friends-fics, the thing is, sirius and moony are alone during the books, so that means the best friends they are meant to be with die or they break up or something, which is is. really, the same thing goes for lily's friends, because they never really talk about a best friend of lily's when she was younger, meaning that person might have died too. in some of my stories (the future ones that are works-in-progress), lily has a best friend or 2 like james has the Marauders... but i still dont like the james-best-friends fall in 3 with lily's-best-friends. too... perfectville... anyways. i hope you enjoy this chappie!

**MissCleo:** well, you'll have to wait a bit longer for lily and james to hook up. mostly, this chappie is about remmi and sirius. and its not so much she has special powers, she just loses control like Harry did when he blew up his aunt and she manages to focus it a bit. glad you liked it! ::MissCleo gets a sundae::

**Dans-girl-4ever:** im glad you liked it (and that you picked up on the sarcasm!) ::Dan's girl gets a sundae::

**Alandra Jade Hart:** :-D your review made me soooo happy. i hope you like this chappie just as much! ::Alandra gets a sundae::

**dreamy-crazygirl:** im glad you loved it so much!!! this one took me a loooong time too, im sorry to say. this chappie isnt really up to par, but i needed to get somethin out before i forgot about this story completely (i got an idea for a new one that i totally love and started and got relaly distracted, but i havent posted it yet). how'd you do in competition? im glad you liek the pjs- ron can cheer everyone up.. he's just that pretty. that last chappie was one of my all time favs, mostly because i got to write lily as this strong, dont-take-shit character finally taking action and not really being in control and stuff. it was just really fun for me and im sooo thrilled you liked it so much! i think this chapter was so delayed, you no longer need the ice cream on layaway. ::gives crazygirl 2 scoops java ice cream, wand/broom sprinkles, etc sundae:: (im too lazy to finish it- add whatever you please :-D) i got the POA dvd!!! grint is my favorite, but dan is sooo pretty (much hotter than tom). feel free to ramble on!

**the-power-of-love:** glad you liked it ::sundae for power-of-love::

**Flame of Desire:** im sorry i made you lose socks!!! it took a mondo-long time for me to update, i know!! hope you enjoy this chappie ::sundae for Desire::

**Annmarie Aspasia:** im glad you liked it (and im sorry i scared you last time). hehe. you kepted your brother from sleeping. i wouldnt even let my brother near the computer while i was on, so i commend you for your selfcontol in not killing him just yet (remember- the plan doesnt go into effect until after christmas, so that we get all their presents) ::sundae for annmarie::

**James-RoxMySox:** im glad you liked it so much! i hope this chappie was worth the wait, too. i love when lily is pissed too, so much fun to write. :-D YAY! i get a cupcake!!!! ::sundae for James-RoxMySox::

REVIEW!!!!!!

**Chapter 9: Finding Some Help**

Dazed, Remus slowly began to open his eyes, which were unable to focus and annoyingly sensitive to light. Blindly, he reached for the nearby lamp. Turning it off, he allowed his eyes to readjust themselves. When he first looked at his watch, he thought he was misreading it. Ten o'clock? How?

Looking outside the window, he saw it was indeed dark. How on earth had they slept for... he couldn't even remember how long. His brain was fuzzy and he couldn't think clearly. He remembered... reading and watching his friends play chess. Looking up, he saw Sirius was still asleep, but no sign of James. Standing slowly, Moony walked over to Sirius and yanked the thick chessboard from under him, causing Sirius' head to make a loud THWACK against the mahogony table.

Needless to say, but Sirius woke up a bit faster than Remus had.

"Remus! Mate, what was that for?" Sirius asked accusingly, rubbing the sore side of his face, which was a tint redder than the rest of his face. Remus' head was still a little fuzzy, but not so much that he was incapable of simple logic.

"To wake you up." He said simply, shrugging. He waited as Sirius stood and stretched out his long limbs, which were sore after sitting in the same position for so long. Sirius, still a bit dazed, looked around the room with a curious expression on his face, blinking rapidly. Remus began to follow his gaze, wondering what Sirius was looking for.

"Hey- where's Prongs?" Sirius continued to look around the room as if he expected James to pop out of thin air, yelling 'SURPRISE!'.

"Um... not quite sure, really.... We've been sleeping for quite a bit, I'm sure he left to eat or something..."

"Quite a bit? What'dya mean? It's only..." Sirius glanced at a clock on the wall, ".. ten o'clock?!" Sirius turned his head back to the clock.

"Moony- how'd we sleep for... for.. How many hours did we sleep?" Sirius asked, very confused. Remus just shook his head. Sitting down on the couch, Remus rested his head in his hands. His head was beginning to hurt- why couldn't they figure out what happened? Tiredly, Remus lifted his head and looked at Sirius.

"Mate- you didn't, you know, put something in our drinks, did you?" Remus asked cautiously. Sirius shook his head vigorously.

"No! But.. someone else might have... but, who could've?" Sirius said thoughtfully, his face contorted in concentration. His head was still a little foggy and he was having some trouble getting from point A to point B without getting sidetracked. Remus began to search the room, looking under tables and cushions.

"Moony, whatcha looking for?" Sirius asked, looking around.

"The .." he looked under the table where Sirius and James had been playing chess, "..map! There it is!" Remus stood triumphantly, unrolling the Marauder's Map, scanning it for James. He finally found him...

"What's he bloody doing in the Forbidden Forest?!?" Sirius, who was leaning over Remus' shoulder, asked.

"Mate- I don't think that is the biggest shock from this. Notice who he is with?!?" Remus asked, slightly panicked. Sirius looked at him curiously, then back at the map.

"Oh, yeah, with Lily and with- oh shit. Where's Dumbledore? We gotta go tell him!! Right now!!! Remus, c'mon. James is surrounded by Voldermont and a buncha his cronies, we HAVE TO GO!!!!" Sirius began to charge out of the Common Room. Remus stood frozen for a moment, then began to search the map again. Dumbledore was in his office.

The two boys raced to their headmaster's office. When they reached the stone gargoyle, panting, Remus gasped out the password (as told by the Marauder's Map).

"Acid Pop!" The gargoyle lept aside and Dumbledore stepped out from behind it. Remus stuffed the map in his pocket as Sirius began to explain what happened.

"Professor!! You gotta come! It's James- and Lily- he's in the forest with- with Voldermont! I don't know why, but something's happpened! You gotta go save them!" Sirius' eyes were wide with fright and he was having what felt like a mild anxiety attack. As soon as he heard Voldermont's name, Dumbledore's eyes ceased to twinkle and his playful smile dropped. Gravely serious, Dumbledore called for Fawkes and sent the bird off with instructions neither boy heard.

"You two- stay here. We don't need any more lives at stake." Dumbledore pushed the two into his office and stalked off, power radiating from him. The boys couldn't just wait in his office, but it wasn't like they had any choice- they were locked in. Spreading the map out across the desk, the boys did their best to follow the battle.

Though they didn't know what was being said, they saw Lily and James were being held back by Death Eaters, but not for long. Somehow, the pair was suddenly moving quickly down a hill.

"Do'ya think they got pushed?" Sirius asked in a hushed voice.

"It doesn't matter- look, Dumbledore is right there, and there goes Voldemont- they are all gone." Remus rested his head in his hands.

"We shoulda gotten to Dumbledore earlier- he woulda been able to catch Voldemont!" Sirius muttered, blaming himself. Remus shook his head.

"How? How could we have gotten here sooner- we were drugged, I'm sure of it. It musta been in our food- remember, James didn't eat at lunch. I dunno how they did it though- must have been hard, making it so only we got drugged. But WHY?" Remus asked, angry for not being able to figure it out. Frustration never helped solve a problem, though.

"Maybe... maybe it was to get to James." Sirius said seriously (no one say anything!!). There was no place for his usual comic relief- the whole sitiuation was too sobering and too.. too real. Remus looked at him thoughtfully, his eyes out of focus. The answer was right there! If only he could reach it...

"Or... maybe it was to get to Lily..." Remus rubbed his chin- the pieces were almost close enough to solve the puzzle!

"But, why drug us? We have nothing to do with her." Remus shook his head and motioned for Sirius to stop talking. He began to pace the room.

"Someone... someone must've told him that Lily and James have gotten closer, or that they live in the same dorms, which everyone knows... Maybe, maybe they knew that James would go looking for Lily if she didn't come back one night... And they couldn't just take James without us noticing, so they had to move us out of the way, at least temporarily..." Sirius interrupted, the little light bulb turning on in his head. Questions began to swarm inside his brain.

"But why not just drug James? Or kill all of us?" Remus continued to pace.

"Well, maybe they tried to drug James- but he didn't eat, remember? I don't know if he went to dinner, but if he did, they must've not realized he hadn't been drugged. And, c'mon Sirius, do you really think they could have gotten away with killing three of the Marauders? The whole school would freak- even some of the Slytherins would be angry! No.. no they wouldn't want that. Better to just move us out of the way until later..." Sirius looked up at Remus.

"Whose 'they'? And why do they want to kill Lily?" But, Remus was on a roll and ignored Sirius' questions.

"Or.. or maybe he wanted both Lily and James out of the way, so they wouldn't have drugged James, just us. Maybe he thinks Lily and James are too big of a threat- maybe he knows something about them we don't. But, then, why not just poison them? Maybe... maybe he wanted it to be personal? But, why bother?" Remus was now talking to himself, trying to figure this all out. Sirius continued to ask questions that Remus ignored.

"Whose 'they'? Whose 'he'? Clue me in!!" Remus turned to Sirius.

"He, as in Voldemont. They, as in his Death Eaters and, more specifically, the students who are doing their dirty work and feeding them information." A look of understanding flashed across Sirius' face.

"It seems you've figured out more of this mystery than the rest of us." Dumbledore said quietly from the door, watching the two boys. Sirius scrambled to hide the map and stuffed it into his robes. Remus smiled wanely at the headmaster and shook his head.

"All guesses. We don't know any more than anyone else. How are James and Lily? What did Voldemont do?" Remus asked worriedly. Sirius began to bombard Dumbledore with questions.

"What happened? Are they okay? Did you catch any of them? Do you know what's going on? Do you know who any of them are? Do you know what they drugged us with--" Dumbledore cut him off with a wave of his hand. Exhaustedly, Dumbledore dropped into his chair behind his desk.

"Mr. Black, I don't know much more than you do, but I do know that both Ms. Evans and Mr. Potter will be fine- you can visit them tomorrow. Now, what's this about being drugged?" Dumbledore asked curiously, his voice even and collected. His fiery passion was once again put to rest and now Dumbledore needed more information on what happened.

"Well, we don't really know- we went to lunch, played quidditch a bit, then it's all a bit fuzzy. I remember playing chess with James, then waking up and finding it's 10 o'clock and James is gone." Dumbledore nodded slowly as Sirius finished his short explanation.

"I'll look into, don't worry. We'll get to the bottom of this. Though, I'm afraid, we'll have to wait until Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans awake. You two should go back to your dorms- though I'm not sure if you'll be able to sleep." Remus and Sirius recognized the dismissal and left the circular office. The pair walked to the kitchen, they were both quite hungry since the last time they ate was lunch.

"Moony... why do you think he chose her- she wasn't anything special, never did anything to grab his attention.. to grab anyone's attention. James never did anything all that special either... Why them? Why did he have to do that to them?" Sirius asked, leaning against the wall, his voice soft and hopeless, confused and thoughtful.

"Maybe he saw something in her that no one else did, something that threatened him. And the same with James. Maybe he knows something about them... about their future that the rest of us are clueless about." Remus said thoughtfully, leaning against the wall next to his friend. Sirius smiled.

"Yeah- because Lily and James have a real bright future together. Gunna get married and have a million kids, one of which are going to be the end of dear, old Uncle Voldie, right?" Sirius joked, losing his depressed demeanor. Pushing off the wall, Sirius began to walk towards the kitchens again. Remus watched him saunter off, his expression thoughtful.

"Hey, ya never know..." Remus whispered softly, his voice trailing off. He heard a grumble coming from his stomach and realized suddenly how truly starving he was. Shaking his head to empty it of any of the bizarre notions he had been having, Remus caught up with Sirius, temporarily forgetting whatever profound (and prophetic) thoughts about the future that was to come.

**REVIWERS GET BIG HEART-SHAPED COOKIES (pre-pre-pre valentine's day sale- 1 cookie for 1 review!)**

**REVIEW!!!!!**


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